Lifetime Review: 'Sinister Minister'

Well, this had to come eventually, so let's get out of the way. After spending the past few reviews praising some of Lifetime's best "Tainted Love" movies in dedication of the month of Valentine's Day, I decided it was time for me to show the lesser side of Lifetime. It exists, and it's something that fans of the network need to come to terms with to become stronger fans that can more readily provide credible support to this beloved network.

So... let's start.

The recently divorced Trish (Nikki Howard) is having it rough. Not only is she fresh off a divorce and scrapping by waiting tables, but her teenage daughter Siena (Angelica Tate) is acting out as a result of her recent divorce and is causing all kinds of trouble for her. It seems the only anchor Trish has in her life is her new friend, pastor DJ (Ryan Patrick Shanahan). When DJ's wife dies in what appears to be a tragic accident, Trish finds herself being romanced by DJ—despite the objections of her daughter and ex-husband John (Jeff Marchelletta), the latter of whom is desperate to win Trish back.

But overtime, it appears that DJ is the perfect man for Trish, as he is slowly able to win over Siena's approval as well as Trish's heart. But soon, when Trish begins to grow ill and Siena suddenly disappears, Trish begins to learn some secrets about her new lover—and his twisted motivation for wanting to grow close to Siena....

This is a good example of a "middle of the road" Lifetime movie that has slightly more substantial potholes than other movies that lie in this quality vicinity. The biggest downfall of Sinister Minister is that the plot takes far too long to get anywhere with little payoff for that build up. From the title alone, we already know DJ's intentions are going to turn out to be less than holy, so the way the movie takes so long for DJ to start showing off his darker side doesn't make much sense. And it's sadly not very interesting seeing DJ charm both Trish and Siena, as it's the same old route of "evil man targets vulnerable mother and daughter" that Lifetime has gone down before with much more entertaining results.

It's also not a good sign when a movie's supporting cast puts more energy into their performances than the main one does. While Nikki Howard does give in the occasional spark of brutal authenticity while portraying the exasperated Trish, she spends much of the film saddled with a generic cardboard cutout protagonist. The same is applied to Tate's portrayal of the angsty and perpetually disrespectful Siena, who gets exactly one modestly empowering moment in the film's lukewarm climax while spending the preceding portions of the movie giving an uninspired take on the Rebellious Teen archetype. Their male counterparts fare much better, surprisingly, with Ryan Patrick Shanahan giving an appropriately icky vibe as the Holy Man in Sheep's Clothing promised by the film's title and Jeff Marchelletta giving a good attempt at depth in his unfortunately small role as Trish's desperate-for-redemption ex.

While far from a complete and utter train wreck, Sinister Minister is another film that doesn't fairly depict what Lifetime is capable of, as movies like Deadly Exchange or 10 Year Reunion have displayed. It doesn't appear that Lifetime reruns this movie so often, and really, it's for the best since no one who watches Sinister Minister is likely to remember it after about three hours. This is one Lifetime flick that can stay buried away in the back pews.

Score: 2 out of 10 big 'ole doobs.