This Is Je_p_rd_!!!

Way back shortly after the dinosaurs croaked and the world was young after I finished doing my homework and playing with my friends, I would turn on the idiot box to see what was on. Yes, it was TV time!

I had an eclectic taste in TV programs. I enjoyed mostly comedies, but not all comedies. My favorite personalities were Soupy Sales and Sandy Becker. These were the hosts of children's programming and they did a dang fine job of it. Every time I see the actor Gerard Butler, I wonder why nobody has used him in a Soupy Sales biopic.

There were cartoons, some that were sillier than others. Between MAD magazine and my demented mind, I used to make fun of the theme songs. For example, there was Felix the Cat. His theme song was too easy to satirize.

"Felix the Cat,

The wonderful, wonderful cat.

Whenever he gets into a fix,

he reaches into his bag of tricks."

I had to change it for some cheap laughs.

"Felix the Cat,

The wonderful, wonderful cat.

Whenever he gets into a fix,

he reaches into his nose and picks."

I told you that I was rather demented.

One day, I was off from school and my parents had gone to work leaving me home to watch my baby sister and brother. I helped them with their schoolwork and then we watched some TV together. After a while, they went to play with their toys while I still watched the TV. I changed the channel. Lo and behold, I found a new genre of television—the game show!

I honestly don't remember all of these shows, but a few still do stand out in my feeble mind.

One of my earlier favorites used to be the shows that required guessing without prior knowledge. One that came to mind was the Match Game. It required that you listen to a sentence and then guess which three out of six guests on the panel would match your answer. That was nice and it held my attention for a limited time.

Then, there was another show called Concentration. This started to be a bit of a challenge. You had a mural-like panel composed of some 30 panels. You looked at the numbered panels. If the two items matched, it revealed a part of a very cryptic word/picture puzzle. I liked this show for two reasons: It tested your memory as to where the matches were AND you eventually had to look at the puzzle to actually figure out the measure. It was no easy task on any level.

They were nice, but I grew very tired of the celebrity-based shows like Match Game because I found that the celebrities—all adults—were quite silly at times. And this evaluation was coming from an 11-year-old at the time. When you are doing your best to stay out of trouble, getting your homework done, studying, watching your younger siblings, and doing chores, these game shows came in quite handy.

The ONLY game show that I enjoyed (and still do enjoy) is the Newlywed Game. This show was very dangerous for a pre-pubescent boy to watch before he attended high school. First of all, you ended up learning about the facts of life rather quickly. You saw these average looking men who were married to these extremely good-looking ladies and a voice in my head kept saying, "I don't know what it is what I want, but I want something right now." Trust me. That desire wasn't for food. You had four couples on stage sitting in their respective booths. First, the wives were removed and the lucky hubbies were asked questions hoping that their wives would come up with the same answers. Then, the wives came back to their hubbies to try to match their hubbies' answers. After that round, the roles were switched and the wives would answer questions hoping that their hubbies would come up with the same answers. There was a championship round and that was it. Prizes and consolation prizes were given. I am sure that, when the show was over, there were arguments in the cars and divorces given, too.

I NEVER told any adult at the time that I was watching this show because some of the questions had a sexual entendre attached to them. "Husbands, what will your wife say was the one place where you REALLY surprised her?" You did not need to be an Einstein to figure out where this question was going. When the couples came back, I was right. When I went to school one day, I was shocked when one of my female classmates said, "I did not see you standing there. What a surprise!" I almost fainted myself.

As time went on, I saw a change in the game show genre. Some shows were getting into the "reality" realm. Such of an example of that would be a show I saw while in college. It was called The Gong Show. It was a very appropriate title for a show where truly bad acts staged by common folks like me tried to avoid being gonged off stage. I never bothered to do the research, but it nearly mirrored a show called Showtime at the Apollo which was a similar show that emanated from the Apollo Theater in Harlem, New York. The only difference is that the Apollo show had people who wanted to become singers, instrumentalists, or comedians. The GS involved regular people doing, in most cases, rather stupid things. Why would someone try juggling chickens or kittens? The name of the GS told you what your punishment would be-the giant symbol called a gong. In the Harlem show, you would also be escorted off the stage by a character known as Sandman Simms. On either show, the fatal outcome would lead you to return to your old neighborhood trying to save face after a most embarrassing presentation in front of a national audience.

In my college days, I remember one fraternity that put on a campus version of the "Gong Show." It really wasn't a disaster, but I remember one person who tried to be the resident Unknown Comic of the show. He bombed so badly on stage that he walked off in the middle of his act while the boos were getting louder. He even ripped the paper bag mask off his head in the process. No one ever said that being on stage an acting like a fool was going to be easy. He found out the hard way.

The GS was also produced by a gent named Chuck Barris, not to be confused with the car designer George Barris who, like Chuck, also lived in California. I was hooked on the show for two reasons. It was fun watching grown people make fools out of themselves and Chuck Barris and I were members of the same college fraternity (Zeta Beta Tau) but from different colleges. I had to support a frat brother.

As time went on, both genres flourished. I don't really follow the reality show genre anymore because they are so far removed from reality if you think about it. Take the show Survivor. You get 15 or 20 people together to live on a remote island. Then, after completing a series of tasks on each episode, you dismiss one person from the group until you are down to the last person, the survivor. While these people are trying to endure the rough times and stuff, one tends to forget that there is a camera crew there. I am sure that the crew is either living in a fancy camper or a nice hotel room somewhere. Truth in advertising?

There were others, too numerous to mention here. In some cases, they are too silly to mention here as well.

One nice thing I experienced was the summertime version of the Gong Show. This one was hosted by another fellow named Tommy Maitland who was really comedian Michael Myer in character. Unfortunately, Mr. Barris had passed on. It was in keeping with the spirit of the original show. I found myself more interested in Mr. Myer's Benny Hill-like Maitland character. The contestants, for the most part, were just as silly as those from the original show. For example (I hope that you have NOT eaten in a while), there was a couple who ate a huge mass of potato salad and VOLUNTARILY spit it into their partner's mouth in order to see the food chewed again and swallowed. If THAT does not turn your stomach, you are a far better person than I am. Just the thought of that is making me sick again. Here is the twist. They won! Yup, they took the top prize while I took myself to the nearest john to give back my previously delicious dinner I had a few hours earlier.

My favorite show which just tops the Newlywed Game is Jeopardy. It is a show that entails a high amount of knowledge. You need to know everything about everything. It is no easy task. It is hosted by a very likable guy named Alex Trebek. You get 6 to 8 categories. When it is your turn, you pick a category and an amount. The twist is that an answer is revealed and you have to come up with a What or Who question that would lead to that particular answer. Even when you are sitting in the comfort of your living room with a nice beverage or sandwich in your hand, these questions are not easy. I am sure that they become much harder as you are looking at a huge studio audience and a television camera which means that millions more are watching you at home all over the globe we live on. You will either make a one-day appearance or, like Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings, you will be on more than once. Mr. Jennings, by the way, holds the current appearance record at 75 consecutive shows and walked away with a cool $2 million plus for his efforts. I am no Ken Jennings.

With the advent of computer technology in schools, I found the Jeopardy format as an extremely useful tool with my Smartboard in my classrooms. I have actively engaged my students in our own Jeopardy challenges as we reviewed various topics depending on our lessons. Mr. Trebek should thank me for this.

It is nice to be able to find something nice to watch from time to time. I must commend the metamorphosis of the game show from a simple 30-minute curiosity to its modern challenge. I really can't wait to see how it will develop to its next level one day.

"Alex, I will take Game Shows of the Future for $500."