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Comic books are meant to be amazing stories filled with cool twists and turns. They have awesome heroes, daredevil sidekicks, intergalactic intrigue, and romance galore! That's what keeps them relevant for decades.
It would be a lie to say that comic books haven't done some seriously good work when it comes to perfecting storylines and giving characters depth. However, when it comes to the love department, it's a bit dicey.
For every Gambit and Rogue or Batman and Catwoman, there's a coupling that just doesn't make much sense—or is otherwise just plain wrong. Over the years, many comic book romances have been less than stellar in terms of sanity's sake. Here are some seriously bizarre ones that will leave you asking, "WTF?"
Lois Lane, Lana Lang, and Superbaby
Back before Superman went through puberty or adolescence, he was known as Superbaby. Or, at least, that's what was ascertained in one Silver Age comic book by the name of Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #57.
In this issue, we see one of the weirdest comic book romances of all time. Lois Lane and Lana Lang are both competing for Superman's hand in marriage, but unfortunately, the Man of Steel has been turned into a baby.
Rather than panic due to a man being turned into a toddler, both women start grooming him to propose to them when he grows up. They baby him, take turns spanking him, and casually remind him to pop the question when he's an adult again.
Creepy? Oh, it gets worse. The real Superman was an adult all the time, meaning that Superbaby was from a parallel dimension. So, yea, Lana and Lois both groomed a random toddler from another dimension. WTF.
Gwen Stacy and Green Goblin
Gwen Stacy was Peter Parker's girlfriend, and was actually seen as a very passionately loyal woman through most of the series. They were a dream team, and really, who wouldn't want to date Spider-Man?
Well, everything changed when writers decided to retro-canon something pretty heinous. They decided that Gwen should have an affair with Spider-Man's worst enemy, the Green Goblin.
This doesn't sound too weird until you hear that Gwen gets knocked up by him, gives birth to twins, and ends up having the twins taken from her. The twins then turn into 10-year-old assassins hell-bent on whacking Spidey.
Yeah, we don't get it, either.
Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch
If anyone should have issues, it's the duo known as Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. They were abandoned by a supervillain father, constantly found themselves battling others, were experimented on, and were marginalized by society as "evil."
All things considered, you can kind of expect to see some seriously weird stuff going on in their brains. That's the only reason we can come up with to explain why this brother-sister duo decided to get it on.
Yeah, they're brother and sister. Yes, they had a sexual relationship. The entire affair was so bad, it's considered to be one of the worst comic book couples in history by fans. The series was later made non-canon due to the backlash by fans.
Ms. Marvel and Marcus
For real, what's up with all the comic book writers who seem to think incest is "wincest?" To date, one of the most bizarre comic book romances happens to be Ms. Marvel's love affair with her son.
In one comic, her adult son shows up and rapes her. She then falls in love with him in his adult form, and after she gives birth to the baby version of him, naming him Marcus. While raising the child, she stays with adult Marcus, blissfully aware that she's banging her own kid.
The story went on about as well as you'd expect it to. Marvel had to remove Ms. Marvel from comic books for years as a way to try to help people forget the fact that she's got the worst case of Jocasta Syndrome this side of Oedipus Rex.
Somehow, no one from the superhero crowd seems the least bit weirded out by the fact that Ms. Marvel is banging her son on a regular basis. The Marvel Universe is a very weird place.
MODOK and Angela
MODOK is not attractive. At all. He's not even supposed to be sexualized. His name is short for Mechanical Organism Designed Only for Killing. Angela is Thor's sister, and a literal angel. Together, they're one of the most bizarre comic book romances ever.
MODOK gets smitten with Angela after seeing her kill people, and the two end up hanging out together. They go on crazy missions, MODOK saves her, but nothing really happens between them. Still, considering how he looks, that's as close to romance as he's coming.
Or, at least that's what you'd think. This scene from Superhero Squad shows that the overgrown vibrator gets other chicks too.
Harley Quinn and Harley Quinn
Certain comic book romances take self-love to another level—such as this dalliance that happened in Harley's Little Black Book. (Harley's Little Black Book, by the way, is all about people Harley Quinn has gotten with or wanted to bone.)
At one point, Harley Quinn ends up meeting an alternative universe version of herself. Then, the two end up making out with each other, because, you know, fan service.
Iron Man and His Suit
At one point or another, you have to wonder how many drugs were involved in the making of certain comic book series. This is one of those points where you have to assume massive amounts of cocaine may have been involved.
In Invincible Iron Man #30, Iron Man's suit becomes alive and falls in love with him. When Tony Stark tells his suit he's not into him like that, the suit kidnaps him, ties him to a tree, and tortures him.
Yeah, this isn't the healthiest of all comic book romances, either.
Supergirl and Comet the Super-Horse
When Supergirl first arrived onto the comic book scene, she found a pet called Comet the Super-Horse. That part made sense, since it was the 1950s and good girls always wanted to have a pony of their own at that time. However, the fact that this is on a list of WTF comic book romances should tell you where this is going.
Comet the Super-Horse had a crush on Supergirl. Big time. In the comics, he even talks about how badly he wants to make love to her. Thankfully, that crush was one-sided—or, was it?
The comics actually show Supergirl constantly thinking about having her own white, flying horse that can rescue her after seeing a horse in a Western movie. Some of the panels look a bit more like a sexual awakening than, you know, just dreaming a bit about a horse.
It gets even weirder when Comet relays his story, which involves him stalking Supergirl since she was on Krypton. He then claims that, "No one can keep us apart." Somehow, it gets creepier and goes on to prove that he's one of the strangest Marvel superheroes ever made.
At one point in the comic book series, there's what seems to be a love triangle between Supergirl, Comet, and an actress named Liz Gaynor. Though no sex had been openly mentioned, it's pretty clear that there's some kind of really weird vibe going on between the three.
Oh wait. Nevermind. Comet turns into a human and almost bangs Supergirl in his human form. Because, you know, he's probably hung like a horse.
Wolverine and Mary Jane
At one point in Marvel's Ultimates Universe, a teenage Spider-Man and a fully-grown Wolverine end up switching bodies and have to live as the other person. Body switching storylines aren't that uncommon, but what makes this one a bit unsettling is the fact that Wolverine tries to get with Mary Jane.
Mary Jane is Peter Parker's girlfriend. She's also 15 years old. Compared to his 60-plus years on the planet as a perennially youthful-ish man, that's pretty insanely creepy.
Wolverine acts like a major creep in this storyline. In fact, the reason they switched bodies was because he kept hitting on a teenage Jean Grey until she lost her temper.
Man, that sure taught him, right?
Hal Jordan and Arisia
Arisia, when she first met Hal Jordan, was a preteen from an alien puppy crush. Hal, being a good guy, rebuffed her advances because she's 13 and he's like, 30, and that's probably the only way to handle that without having Chris Hansen ask you to take a seat.
This quickly turns into one of the creepiest comic book romances when Arisia decides to age her body by 10 years. Though Hal initially rejects her due to having his ex die fairly recently, he eventually gives in and gets it on with her.
Eventually, he dates 13-year-old Arisia. The Green Lantern Corps do not seem to notice or care, because apparently that's okay as long as you have the label "hero" slapped on your face.