10 Tips for Convention Survival

When people think of sci-fi/fantasy/comic book conventions, they tend to think about the costumes they’re going to wear or the celebrity guests that are going to show up. And that’s perfectly fine. But as with anything in life, there are always tips to ensure that you not only survive the convention, but have a wonderful time in the process.

1) Peanut butter is not a costume.

I can hear what you’re thinking right now. “Well, duh, of course peanut butter isn’t a costume!” And I completely agree. However, my parents once knew someone who had the absolutely brilliant idea (note the sarcasm) to cover himself in peanut butter and walk around a convention they were at, telling everyone that he was a giant turd. I don’t know what happened to him, and I don’t particularly care to know; all I know is that his actions caused him to become one of my childhood cautionary tales.

2) Depending on the convention, neither are short-shorts and pasties.

Personally (food and condiments notwithstanding), I don’t usually care what someone wears as a costume. However, there are some conventions that have very strict rules concerning costumes, particularly if they’re considered to be “indecent” and “non-family friendly.” Always check the convention website to see if they have rules about costumes or any sort of dress code.

However, if the convention is Dragon Con, then your costume probably isn’t going to be an issue. Pasties, short-shorts, hirsute men in bikinis, and stormtroopers wielding sex-toy weapons all come to mind. Basically, as long as you’re not naked, your costume is probably going to be just fine.

3) Soap, deodorant and regular bathing is your best friend.

To quote Foamy the Squirrel: “Shower! Take a f#*%ing bath!” Body odor travels farther than you might think, especially if you’ve just spent several hours running around a crowded convention (or spent that time playing Dance Dance Revolution in an enclosed game room). And look at it this way: you’re not at home, and no one is going to yell at you for using up all the hot water.

4) Food is a necessity.

When you’re at a convention, it’s very easy to lose track of time. Your brain and eyes are going, “So much to see, so much to do,” while the rest of your body is trying to bring its attention to the fact that you haven’t eaten anything in over six hours. Ideally, you’ll stop what you’re doing and find either the con suite or the food court in order to refuel your body; however, if you’re in the middle of watching a panel and absolutely have to make it to the end, it would probably be a good idea to have an energy bar tucked into your bag. I can’t guarantee that it’ll keep your stomach from making unholy rumblings of doom, despair and hunger, but at least you won’t pass out from low blood sugar.

Also, and this is very, very important: keep yourself hydrated. You’re going to be running around, and you’re going to sweat, especially if the convention is in the summertime. Most conventions have water stations set up all over the place, and if you’re not sure where to find them, keep a bottle of water with you.

5) If the convention you’re attending has celebrity guests, DON’T FREAK OUT.

Celebrity guests are people, just like you and me. There’s nothing wrong with geeking out when you meet your favorite author/artist/actor, but don’t overdo it. Plus, you never know: they might end up geeking out over you (True story: if you meet Brent Spiner at a convention, there’s a very good chance he might whip out a camera to take a picture of your costume).

6) Drink responsibly.

There’s nothing wrong with drinking at a convention, but be responsible about it. Don’t get so drunk that you can’t take two steps without falling over. And this should go without saying... but if you’re a minor, don’t drink. If you get busted for underage drinking, convention officials will boot you from the convention without a second thought.

7) Be prepared to stand in line for upwards of an hour.

Most panels have limited seating. If it’s for someone major, people have been known to get in line at least an hour early. When he was at Dragon Con in 2011, people were lining up five hours early for Stan Lee’s panel (may he rest in peace), and the line ended up winding around the building he was in.

However, it should be noted that it’s not just panels that have long lines. At Dragon Con, the lines to purchase or pick up your badge can be ridiculously long, especially on Saturday and Sunday. Most convention-goers handle it fairly well, but some people become extremely grumpy at the long wait.

8) Don’t be jerks to convention staff.

After volunteering at Dragon Con in 2011 and 2012, this has become one of my pet peeves. Despite what you may believe, the convention staff is not actually trying to make your life miserable; they’re just doing their job. Throughout the entire weekend, they have to deal with people trying to cut in line, trying to sneak into a panel (or the convention itself), messing around on the elevators and escalators, harassing the guests, and just generally being jerks.

Unlike other jobs, though, they’re not doing it for the money; it’s all volunteer work, where the payment is free/reduced admission (usually) and maybe some free food. They recognize that it’s a job that someone needs to do, and they care enough about the convention to do it.

So the next time you feel the urge to blow up at a staff member for not letting you into a panel, or for vetoing your elevator party, please don’t. It only makes things worse.

9) No means no.

It’s 2019, and I can’t believe we still have to have this discussion... but no means no, and consent matters.

• Always ask if you can take a picture of someone. It’s not a huge deal if there’s half a dozen people standing there with cameras flashing, but it’s still the polite thing to do.
• Don’t stand behind them, or to the side, and take hidden pics. It makes you look like a massive creep, especially if you’re trying to take up-skirt photos of female cosplayers.
• If you’re posing with a cosplayer, no matter their gender, don’t try to cop a feel. It’ll get you slapped, punched or whacked over the head with a prop, and then security will likely get involved.
• Don’t make sexual/lewd comments to cosplayers. If you can’t control your mouth, others will do it for you, possibly with duct tape.

10) Be decent to your fellow convention-goers.

Anything I put here would be a rehashing of rules #8 and #9, so I will simply say this: decency, kindness and the hand of friendship can go a long way in making conventions some of your fondest memories.

In conclusion: conventions can be terrifying and stressful, but they don’t have to be. As long as you remember your limits and your manners, it can be like your home away from home.