Eric Hillis
Stories (6/0)
Review - Baywatch
Back in the '90s, before the internet beamed its world of smut into our homes, hormonal teenage boys had to make do with the Saturday teatime tradition of Baywatch to get their fill of female flesh. In anticipation of the obligatory slo-mo sequence of Pamela Anderson's cleavage bouncing in her red swimsuit like two bald midgets running a sack race, a lot of VCR pause buttons were worn out. But also fast forward buttons, as in between such mammary moments the show was the very definition of tedium. The new generation of sweaty palmed tykes who visit the cinema to check out this big screen cash-in will be wishing they could access a fast-forward button too, as Baywatch the movie is so unremittingly awful it may well turn its young male audience off boobs for life. Caution: may contain spoilers.
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks
Review - Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge
As any Hollywood exec will attest, Joe Public is a tricky blighter to predict. Blockbusters with historical settings generally have as much mass box office appeal as Latvian character dramas, and those set on the high seas have historically sunk without a trace (see Roman Polanski's Pirates and Renny Harlin's Cutthroat Island; nobody else has). In 2003 however Disney found the box office treasure so many others had failed to locate when Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl proved an unexpected global hit. Everything suggested it would flop heavily - its premise seemed designed to alienate a modern audience; its biggest star was Johnny Depp, whose best years seemed long behind him at that point; and to the amusement of many observers it was a cinematic adaptation of a Disneyland attraction (see also Tomorrowland; nobody else has) - but audiences embraced it wholeheartedly, and now, 14 years later, we have a fourth sequel, Salazar's Revenge (released in the US under the far more appealing title, Dead Men Tell No Tales). Caution: May contain spoilers!
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks
Review - Inversion
Their figurehead, Abbas Kiarostami, may no longer be with us, but Iranian filmmakers continue to be at the forefront of mature, adult oriented drama. Asghar Farhadi regularly picks up awards across the globe, most notably with Oscars for A Separation and The Salesman. Despite being 'banned' from filmmaking in his native land, Jafar Panahi has managed to produce some of the most invigorating work of his career under such conditions with experimental films like Closed Curtain and Taxi Tehran. And from a society not known for its gender equality, Behnam Behzadi now gives us one of 2017's most well developed female leads in family drama Inversion.
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks
Review - King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
As a schoolboy in Ireland I was regularly held enthralled whenever a teacher would relate one of the great tales of Celtic lore - Cuchulainn and the hound, The Brown Bull of Cooley, the exploits of The Fianna (Irish mythology's version of The Avengers). Those stories are timeless, and here in Ireland we hold them in great respect. They're important to us, a proud part of our culture. If you're British you likely feel the same way about the Arthurian legends, and if so your reaction to Guy Ritchie's take on your nation's greatest folk tale may be to request the Queen exercise her power to imprison the director in the Tower of London.
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks
Review - Alien: Covenant
Though it boasts a cult of stubborn supporters, Ridley Scott's Alien prequel Prometheus is widely regarded a failure; yet another misstep in a franchise that hasn't offered us a thoroughly satisfying installment since the 1980s. Like Rob Zombie with his Halloween reboots and George Lucas with his Star Wars prequels, Scott decided the simple concept that made the initial movies such classics wasn't enough, and retro-fitted a mythology that explained the origins of the series' iconic extra-terrestrial terrors. It was a backstory most of us didn't need, nor cared for, and audiences were left checking their watches throughout, wondering when the bloody aliens might show up.
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks
10 Movies & TV Shows To Watch Along With The Return Of 'Twin Peaks'
Back in the early '90s there was a chewing gum we liked. On May 22nd it's set to come back in style as Twin Peaks returns to living rooms for its belated third season. If you're new to David Lynch and Mark Frost's little Northwest town and find yourself hungry for more to chew on, here are 10 movies and TV shows that influenced or reflect the mood of Twin Peaks.
By Eric Hillis7 years ago in Geeks