Camp Rock Out With Your C*ck Out: Why An R-Rated 'Camp Rock 3' Is An Awful Idea

From child star to female icon, 24-year-old Demi Lovato has certainly come a long way from her Disney Channel days. Singing her way into our hearts as Mitchie Torres in 2008's Camp Rock, the songstress has barely looked back since. Lovato may have returned for the sequel in 2010, but then it seemed that The Final Jam really was the end of summer lovin'. With audiences unwillingly stuck in the time of the reboot/remake, Joe Jonas couldn't keep his urges under wraps, already pitching the idea of pitching a tent for a raunchy sequel to the #DisneyChannel film.

Well, prepare to get a "Demi," because actress-cum-singer #DemiLovato says that Jonas stole her thunder and that the idea for a more "adult" getaway in the woods was her idea. Of all the places to talk about such issues, Lovato fessed up when on the red carpet for the Kids' Choice Awards:

“Yes ... we're totally gonna do it...It'd be like 'American Pie' meets Disney Channel... It's going to happen.”

Sorry to break it to you, kids, but I am not sure that is quite in keeping with #Disney's wholesome family image. So, seven years after we last left the titular camp, here is why Camp Rock 3 is a terrible idea.

I've got a Jo'ner.

I'm sure there are more than a few boys who have imagined Demi's Mitchie serenading them from their bedsides, and Joe Jonas himself is an out-and-out sex symbol thanks to those shirtless modeling pics, but should we really be toasting marshmallows on the burning loins of the Jonas brothers? The boys may have spoken about virginity rings and teased us with the odd nip-slip, but they are still three of the most wholesome boys out there. Die-hard Jonas fans aren't going to want them see them tell their father to "shove it" or turn to a life of heroin for the sake of a "gritty" revival.

Save it for the bedroom.

R ratings tend to be saved for the ultra-violent world of superheroes or your standard slasher horror, and even that is more often a miss than a hit. DC is already queuing up its own universe of more adult superhero films, but why should every genre follow suit? The problem is the success of films like Deadpool and Logan. Other films (no matter what the demographic) see this and think that some toilet humor and a few well-placed f-bombs can save your terrible idea for a story — not going to happen. The idea of a kids' studio like Disney doing anything adult is just plain wrong; even their superhero films are all sunshine and Stark.

Have your pie and eat it.

We have seen adult camp comedies come and go before, usually with disastrous results. Personally, I just can't see it, and American Pie: Band Camp Rock has an awful ring to it, doesn't it? The era of gross-out comedies about millennials was thankfully short-lived. 2012's American Reunion attempted to cash in on its own nostalgia with middling success, and despite original plans to make an American Pie 5, it is now five years later and it has failed to materialize. It takes a certain kind of throwback to capture an audience, and Camp Rock doesn't have it!

The Final Word

However, perhaps the biggest nail in the coffin is the franchise itself. Camp Rock garnered an abysmal 20% on Rotten Tomatoes, while the second one managed to double it to a still dire 40%. How an adult version could possibly help such a poorly received franchise is beyond me. Considering that Disney owns huge franchises like Pirates of the Caribbean and Star Wars, the childhood wishes of a few tween pop stars isn't going to persuade them to part with their money.

Rock Hard

Rumors of a sequel to singalong by the campfire fire came in February when Jonas's Instagram shared a picture of the pair alongside the caption "CR3?" Jonas went on to tell Marie Claire that he had his own more "adult" vision for where the franchise could go:

"Do the graduating days, make it kinda dark. An adult film...Well, not an adult film. An R-rated film. We've joked around about the idea a couple times."

He said that he wanted something darker, but that the possibility of turning the duo of films into a trio is not sure — are we talking Christopher Nolan dark or Riverdale dark here?

Perhaps if you were to do a Camp Rock 20, two decades after the original it could work, but considering entities like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly can't get themselves off the ground for a continuation, who is really asking for more Camp Rock after just seven years?

If the duo are that desperate to star in risqué 20-somethings comedy, get in touch with the Wayans brothers or Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer — I'm sure there is a steaming pile of "[BLANK] Movie" ideas you can wade through.

(Source: Entertainment Tonight/Marie Claire)