Do You Know What's Best for Him?

"Okay, Logan. Care to tell me why you're here?"

"Well, I've got a lot on my mind right now and I needed to get it off my chest. I considered venting to my boyfriend, but he would just give me pity that I don't deserve."

"Well, why don't we start at the beginning?"

"Alright. It started several years ago when I adopted my little boy, Thomas. He was certainly energetic growing up and it had been tough to keep up with him every now and then. I wanted what was best for him to survive in a world like this."

"Did you discuss it with him?"

"Actually... I was never the best at nurturing and expressing emotion, so I just figured what was best for him was what I knew would be best for me if I was him. I dedicated that portion of my life to educating him and felt there was no such thing as too much knowledge. Sure, I'd let him watch those silly educational cartoons, but I'd give him reminders that they weren't as real as the lessons that they provided. There were times where I got... impatient every now and then, though."

"Well, how did you express it?"

"I... made snide remarks and got angry. I never hit him, but I did usually step out for a while and get back to educating him. Eventually, when school came around, I helped him with his homework, instructed him in his coloring, and even had trivia games as family game nights for him. As Thomas grew up, I continued with the educating and thought he was happy. Something didn't feel right, though, and I just dismissed it as being surprised that my little boy was growing up."

"Have you talked to him throughout the days where he was in school apart from just for educational purposes?"

"We've made small talk at the dinner table about his day at school. I have tried talking with him about stuff not related to education, but then I slipped into my old habits."

"Care to name an example?"

"In 8th grade, he came out as gay to me. I did my best to be supportive and appreciate that moment of trust, but then I talked to him about LGBT history. I thought him not objecting to it meant he was okay with it, but now, I'm not so sure."

"Did he express himself as more than just a prodigy towards you?"

"In high school, there were so many extra curricular activities that I felt he should join that would look good on a job application. He mentioned that there were artistic activities he wanted to look into, but I just reminded him that there were academic activities to look into like Math Club, Robotics, Astronomy Club, etc. I told him to sign up for those while I spoke to his teachers and I thought he did. Eventually, I picked up a yearbook one year only to find out that he wasn't in the pictures for any of those groups, but he was expressive in the pictures of the performance groups."

"How did you take it?"

"Not very well. I demanded that he explain himself and he claimed that I knew nothing about him. I told him I knew what was best for him in life and that it wasn't randomly breaking into dance numbers on the streets. He yelled that if I thought of him as a son instead of a student for one day, I might be able to see what makes him happy. Next thing I knew, he packed a bag and my brother, Roman, parked in front of my house and Thomas got in the car and I hadn't seen him since."

"Okay, so what did you do and think when that happened?"

"To be honest, I was in denial. I felt he was just being rebellious and would come crawling back at any moment and that this was an occasional period where he'd need to blow off some steam. That is... until I entered his bedroom. He never gave me permission to enter his bedroom and I figured it was just because he was a teenager. However, I saw that there were drawing attempts on part of a wall, a notebook on his bed that I eventually found out had fantastic poetry. There were even posters of performances that were on Broadway and from his school. I even looked in a drawer of his on his desk and found out they were tickets. Upon closer inspection, I saw that they were a ticket to each of the performances that he was in according to his yearbook. Attached to the tickets was a note in his handwriting that said, 'He prefers you work a regular 9-5. Why would he support you?' Finally, on his dresser mirror, I saw a picture of Einstein with a quote underneath it that said 'Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand'. After looking over what I now knew was the room of a thespian, I went to my bedroom and did something I never thought I would be capable of."

"And what might that be, Logan?"

"I cried. I cried because I wasted his childhood, I cried because I didn't really know how to parent, I cried because I didn't know my own son, I cried because I never gave him a reason to trust me, I cried because I couldn't start over. I'm not a parent, I'm nothing but a teacher trying to force my son in a box. It's his senior year and I heard he's partaking in his last show of high school, but he left my house when he was a freshman and I don't even know if Thomas or Roman want anything to do with me."

"Well, maybe it might be time to give his interests a chance and see eye to eye with him. If you don't support him now, it'll be too late."

"Well, I guess I can't start over, but you're right. Thomas is a bright young man. What he really needs is all the support he can get. Thank you, Doctor."

"Your welcome, Logan. And I hope things get better between you and Thomas."