How Harry Potter Teaches Adults

As a 22-year-old adult female, I firmly believe I can and have been taught by the story of the Boy Who Lived.

Harry Potter is so much more than a children's series about a boy who gets to be the hero of a magical world. He faces death, depression, isolation, betrayal, love, hatred, sacrifice, friendship, heartbreak, and in a total and complete way, loss that no teenager should ever have to experience. Most adults would never be able to cope with what Harry's teen years consisted of. And yet, that is what makes him the Boy Who Lived.

Lesson 1) The Overall Concept of Loss

Loss is a huge theme in the Harry Potter novels. Starting with the loss of his parents in the prologue, Harry's life is filled with the loss of many friends and parental role-models.

Though I totally agree with the head canon that J.K. Rowling created her own Horcruxs of killing the likes of Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, Dobby, Remus, Tonks, and Hedwig, the Harry Potter series reaches to new heights on the feelings of loss.

To lose Sirius, Dumbledore, and Remus, the closest men to a father-figure for Harry, was a devastating blow. Harry loses both of his parents at barely one-year-old, and this begins the cycle of filling the parental hole in his life with role-models of men who knew his father and loved Harry just as much. Losing someone close to you is never easy, and Harry goes through those same things. I have lost two of my four grandparents, and a close friend who succumbed to illness much too young. You actually feel the pain inside of your heart. Your chest hurts and there's nothing you can do about it. You feel empty.

When losing friends and family members close to me, going back and pouring out my hurt with Harry puts things in perspective that I am not alone. It doesn't make the pain completely go away, but knowing that I can relate to a book series on such a heavy level of human emotion is so comforting in times of trouble. The rawness of loss is heavily articulated in these books. J.K. Rowling went through so much hurt and loss in her own life, so she writes this series from the heart, which makes it all the more relatable.

Lesson 2) Friendship and Loyalty

"Without his friends, Harry would be so freaking dead right now."

-Literally, everyone.

^ Don't even deny it; if Hermione didn't do all of the reading, these poor boys would've been out of luck before year 2.

As a teenager, solid and loyal friends are so difficult to come by. With raging hormones and petty drama, plus different goals in life and growing apart, most people don't keep in contact with most from their teenage years. But for Harry? Though he had no shortage of teen-angst in his years at Hogwarts, Harry and his friends go through intense events that would mature any individual by years and years, and either solidify or tarnish a teenaged friendship. So, in come Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

Ron and Harry bond over the most beautiful of creations: food. I don't claim to know how boy's friendships work or are developed, but this is one of the most wholesome beginnings I have ever read. These two boys have been together since the get-go. Forget fighting a force of darkness and evil. They have fought through relationship drama, family struggles, monetary conflicts, and yes, fighting an evil wizard out for domination and murder. They matured together and fully, and there is nothing but love and respect in their relationship. Everyone deserves a friendship like Ron and Harry's.

Harry and Hermione's relationship is not to the same depth as Harry and Ron's, but it was also pure. Hermione always believed in Harry, that is something that never faded. They share some sweet and endearing moments, such as in the film in Deathly Hallows Part 1 when they share a cute dance to ignore the tragedy around them. Or countless times in the common room helping him with his assignments. Even just the deep hugs she would give him any time she was told Harry was safe. These two have hurt and opened their hearts together. They deeply care for each other and always want to help the other.

These three truly deserve to be called the Golden Trio. And I feel as close to them as if I knew them personally. We all have experienced friends coming and going. For basic or complex reasons, we are all human beings and people change. I have very close friends who have bonded with me over Harry Potter, which is always a fun time. But deeper than that, Harry, Ron and Hermione show me what true friendship really is like. It is pure, it is deep, it shows its scars but also works together to heal them. And there is nothing more beautiful and lovely than that.

Lesson 3) It's OK to not be OK, just don't stay that way.

This is a phrase I like to console grieving friends, and even myself with. This series is what taught it to me in such a big way as a teenager going through life changes in high school and college. Harry goes through true depression and anxiety throughout the book series. I denied having symptoms of anxiety most pf my teenage years. I kept it pushed down and occasionally had bad days, but didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until college, when my roommate and best friend, who deals with the same struggles, was comforting me one night. I had gotten into my own head and I was questioning what was wrong with me. My friend simply told me, you're having a panic attack.

I read the series again in college, and gained a new appreciation and understanding of the things Harry went through. Loss and intense situations are definitely a factor that can bring on such horrible mental issues. Harry, as a young boy, went through such emotional abuse from the only family he had left. He had lost his parents, and he had nothing to call his own.

As he aged, he went through even more horrible experiences and loss of his self. His privacy was compromised to begin with. He was supposed to be this big celebrity, so he was just thrust into chaos from the beginning. A young boy who is growing up in a world where he is not only under the spotlight of those round him, but the responsibility of saving the world and those around him, no one can blame him for going through some difficult times.

As another reflection of the trials Rowling went through, Harry's struggle is so relatable as a young person. After coming to terms with my own struggles with anxiety, I am thankful for stories like Harry Potter for putting that into light. There are times when Harry lashes out. There are times when Harry isolates himself from the world. He doesn't want to deal with the responsibility put onto his shoulders and he certainly didn't want to be the reason thing could go good or bad when things were so bad for him at times. But, he picked himself up eventually. Sometimes, he didn't want to. Sometimes, it took more than some gentle nudging from friends to get him back on track. However, he still got through it. And he was stronger for it. And, like Harry, we all can and will get through our struggles.

Lesson 4) Love prevails.

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love."

-Albus Dumbledore, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

Through the loss, rocky friendships, and deep depression and anxiety, the main theme of the Harry Potter novels is love. Love is what saved Harry from Voldemort initially. Love is what made Ron and Hermione stick with Harry through thick and thin. Love is what drove Dumbledore to sacrifice himself for the truth and for Snape to grow and to do good.

The entire series is full of themes and moments, small or large, that would be nothing without love. Through every situation, love makes the hurt go away. It isn't a quick or immediate fix, but it is a constant and healing fix. It might sound cliché, but it is hopeful and lasts throughout the entire series. From the friends Harry has made and the experiences he has dealt with in just seven short years, he makes a compelling character arc that would be an empty shell without love.

As would the rest of us.

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” –Albus Dumbledore, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"