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I Don't Even Care at This Point

Why the final season is NOT what we deserve.

By The Figure of SpeechPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Even though I've been racking my brain for weeks, unsure of what to write about, tonight made it clear. WARNING: This is the only spoiler alert you're going to receive for potential spoilers if you haven't watched the fifth episode of the last season—or if you plan on starting the series AFTER the show ends.

We begin with a familiar scene: Lord Varys plotting against yet another ruler he deems unfit for the realm. Usually, this wouldn't phase us if it weren't for the fact that Varys was the one who brought Tyrion TO Daenerys, who brought Lady Olenna TO Daenerys, and who also brought Ellaria Sand TO Daenerys.

Which reminds me, what was it that he promised Lady Olenna that day in Dorne? Oh, that's right, fire and freaking blood!

Varys dying was predicted by Melisandre back in season seven, so we were already prepared for it, we just weren't sure how. His death, however, made me feel nothing, not even a smidge of pity as Drogon set him ablaze. If he had merely NOT broken his word to Daenerys about plotting against her, it possibly could've been avoided. But I digress.

Daenerys is a problem all on her own, and that's primarily due to her crappy pick of a hand, but we'll talk about that in a minute. Ever since she came to Westeros, she has had nothing but bad luck—losing two dragons, losing allies, losing half her forces, and her best friends. (Missandei deserved so much better.) So it only makes sense that her sanity goes as well.

Now, I'm not defending my queen burning King's Landing to the ground (yeah, that's right, MY queen). I would've preferred she burned Euron's Iron Fleet, all the scorpions, and then went straight for the Red Keep, leaving the citizens alone. Of course, that didn't happen, and due to her rampage, the rest of the wildfire under the city from her dad's reign began to burst, and a LOT of people died.

After all the development her character went through in Essos, to say that I'm disappointed with how easily it disappeared is an understatement. Can we also talk about the fact that Jon having a claim to the Iron Throne seems to be upsetting her more than the fact that he's her nephew? Because after the way Viserys used to look at her in the first season, I kind of thought she'd gotten her fair share of incest.

Speaking of whom, that was NOT the correct death for Jaime and Cersei. There, I said it.

Cersei was supposed to die knowing full well that it was her actions that brought her to this point—almost like Ramsey, but slower and more painful. Instead, she died in the dragon crypts, crying, and in the arms of none other than her brother/lover. Whoopty freaking doo.

After all the theories about Jaime becoming the Queenslayer, and after sleeping with a woman who wasn't a manipulative, vengeful slut (no offense Lena), you'd think he'd finally admit to himself that his sister needed to die. Sigh.

And, of course, we can't forget about the most disappointing Lannister of all (wow, Tywin was right), Tyrion. Ever since he was chosen to be Daenerys's hand, and even before that, he has done nothing but make bad call after bad call. Sure, he wants the people of Westeros to love the queen he serves, but holding her back was NOT the way to go.

The surprised look on his face after she lit up King's Landing like a birthday cake was plain unnecessary. Hopefully, we'll be able to see what Sir Davos smuggled for him in the finale, or it could be a question that will never be answered—like how we'll never know why Melisandre went to Volantis.

The only joy I got out of this episode was FINALLY seeing that wrinkled raisin Qyburn meet his demise, at the hands of his creation no less. And as quickly as the long-anticipated battle of the Clegane brothers came (even though the Hound could've stabbed his undead brother in the eye a bit sooner), it ended as they both went out like Claude Frollo in Notre Dame.

I'm glad he at least convinced Arya to get the H-E double hockey sticks out of there, but I don't understand how she survived blood force trauma to the head twice. I also really wanted her to slit Cersei's throat because that would've been poetic.

In conclusion, the episode was too short, the ending made no sense, and Euron Greyjoy proved himself to be the most irrelevant character since the appearance of Ian McShane. I'll have to be drunk off my ass to get through the final episode... and I plan to be. Cheers.

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About the Creator

The Figure of Speech

No gimmicks, just a voice plus a tale or two

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