I'm a Jack

Which character are you? People often say that Buzzfeed has changed the way that we talk about ourselves. It's not true though, we've always identified ourselves through characters in pop culture. For a while, everyone wanted to be a Carrie or Samantha. Then along came Will and Grace and everyone wanted to be a Karen or Will. Myself included. I was convinced that I was a Karen, minus the wealthy husband. With the revival, I discovered that, as everyone has always said, I am a Jack.

When I was planning this essay, I was going to make a joke about how my boss would add ass after Jack. It's true, but it also made me think about why. Like Jack, I am technically a freelance worker. My gig is steady, and I work nearly every day for them, but at the end of the day, they don't pay for my health insurance or give me vacation time.

After a breakup, I did leave New York City. I didn't come back with a new boyfriend (fiance) the way that Jack did, but as I rewatched the episode where he is dealing with breaking up with Drew, and goes to Ibiza, it dawned on me that it was what I did. And like Jack and Drew's breakup, mine came out of nowhere, after the other man had begged me to give him a chance, only to break up with me weeks later. Holy cow, are Max Mutchnick and David Kohan writing my life now?

Like Jack, I have an affinity for guys who identify as straight, only to come out later. The episode where Jack and Drew first meet finds Jack asking a group of police officers what their favorite TV show is. Drew answers This Is Us, and a romance is born. On the way home from hanging out with friends one night, I saw a police officer who was gorgeous with a capital HOT! So I did what I always do and hit on him. "Officer, I'm lost. Can you take me home?" He smiled and gave me his number. No romance has blossomed yet, but he seems to be into one developing.

So far everything is as superficial as the love of Madonna that I share with Jack. It goes much deeper than two gay men being attracted to sexually confused men though. In the episode "Who's Your Daddy" Jack is having a hard time dealing with aging. As I watched and rewatched the episode, the lengths that he goes to prove that he isn't old seem comically exaggerated. Except that anyone who asks when my birthday is receives the answer January 10, 1997. Soon to be 1998. No one can tell me that I'm not 21. Even as my body begins to show the wears of age.

Age though has brought a quiet wisdom to the character of Jack, and I hope to me. There are two significant examples of this with Jack. The first is when his grandson is sent to a camp to "fix" him because he's gay. The raw emotional power of his speech to the family member that he had just learned existed is one of the best scenes of this TV season. It mirrored a conversation I had with a young friend. After my breakup, I was hanging out at the LGBT center hoping to meet new people. He came in and was upset, and for some reason, I felt compelled to speak to him. His parents had kicked him out of the house after discovering that he was gay. He told his story through his tears and listened as I told him that it would be ok. Maybe I'm not the poster boy for "It Gets Better" but I sure as hell know that it does. He kept asking how. I told him what I tell everyone, eventually his parents would come to their senses and apologize for their actions or like me, he could build a new family. His mom did indeed apologize, and his dad is coming around. He's also developing a new support system with friends.

The other way that age has brought wisdom is by feeling free to speak your mind with friends. Will begins dating his ex-boyfriend in "The Beefcake and The Cake Beef," and it unsettles Jack. He lets Will know and asks him to at least consider what he's saying. After Will counters with what his boyfriend said, Jack lets him have it. Likewise, my friends know that when they ask me a question or for reassurance, they will get the honest to God truth, whether they like it or not. Sometimes it ends friendships, especially when someone doesn't like being called out on hypocritical behavior but that's ok.

In the past, I didn't want to be a Jack. It meant that I was a flaming homo. Something that I believed I should be ashamed of being. Now though it's much more than that. Now being a Jack means not only being the flaming gay but also being the voice of reason. Being the calm in the center of the storm. Getting engaged a day after you meet your beau. That's a story for another day...