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“I Want Pictures Of Spider-Man!” 7 Actors Who Could Be The New J. Jonah Jameson

The line-up of actors who may be the new J. Jonah Jameson make us excited to see the next Spider-Man.

He is an integral part of Spider-Man’s comic book world; a beloved presence in the Sam Raimi movies (played by J K Simmons), sorely missed in the Marc Webb adaptations, and the subject of memes aplenty, but alas, we were greeted with the news earlier this week that Simmons is to enter the DC Extended Universe as Commissioner Gordon, meaning that he is unlikely to return to harangue "that wall-crawling menace."

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a brilliant piece of casting but it is saddening for those who had hoped to see Simmons don the famous moustache once again.

But time waits for no man (or woman), and with the new Spider-Man movie due next year (!), our minds now being to discern through the hordes of talented, potential actors who will run the rebooted Daily Bugle.

We need an actor who has presence, but also great comic timing. Jameson is an abrasive person, whose overblown and confrontational attitude has provided many laughs within Spidey history, but it also belies his loyal, sensitive side and his distinctly difficult relationship with the heroism of the Marvel Universe.

We’ve heard about that Ice Cube rumour, but who else could we hope to see chomping on cigars and bellowing at reporters?

Well...What are you waiting for?! Chinese New Year?! Read on to find out!

1. Harrison Ford- As seen in Star Wars (1977), Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) & Blade Runner (1982)

Very, very unlikely to happen, but Lord if it did... Known for his wryly amusing, reluctant antiheroes, his dour moods and fierce frowns would be brilliantly channeled into the curmudgeonly editor-in-chief. You can practically hear him shouting the infamous lines already. The Force is strong with this one.

2. Paterson Joseph - As seen in Peep Show (2003-2015), Doctor Who (2005) and Jekyll (2007)

Mainly a television actor and definitely the most obscure choice on this list, but Joseph definitely has what it takes to play “Jolly Jonah.” From his small, selfish and unlikable role in Doctor Who, to the outrageous antics of Johnson in Peep Show, he has a good range and sense of comedy which is needed in the role. His presence as a shady enforcer, coupled with his American accent in Jekyll isn’t that bad either. Make it happen Marvel!

3. Bryan Cranston - As seen in Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006), Breaking Bad (2008-2013) and Total Recall (2012)

The man that needs no introduction, Cranston frequently appears on fan-casting lists for both Commissioner Gordon (ironic, eh?) and the publisher of the Daily Bugle, and it’s not hard to see why. Cranston could easily bring some aspects of his award-winning turn as Walter White to Jameson; he is meant to be somewhat gruff and intimidating to his employees after all! His flamboyance from Hal in Malcolm in the Middle would also be an asset. In fact Cranston hamming it up, complete with the moustache from his earlier meth-cooking days would be delightful for modern audiences who are more familiar with his dramatic work.

4. Danny Glover - As seen in The Color Purple (1985), Lethal Weapon (1987) and Saw (2004)

“Too old for this sh#t?” Not in the slightest, though it would be interesting to see if Marvel could squeeze that iconic catchphrase in somewhere! Through his long career he’s proved us of his versatility, and convinced us that he can carry a tache; seeing him having a tantrum a la Lethal Weapon after Spider-Man webs him to his chair would make the movie...well, for me at least.

5. Hugh Laurie- As seen in Blackadder Goes Forth (1989), Stuart Little (1999) and House M.D. (2004)

Another Brit, Laurie has a long history with outrageously comedic characters, like the dullard Lt. George in Blackadder; comedy is definitely needed with the almost cartoon-like Jameson, but his more subdued roles in House and Tomorrowland (2015) show that he could add dimension to the character. It would be very interesting to hear him screaming “MENACE!” out of the office window.

6. Ron Perlman- As seen in Blade II (2002), Hellboy (2004) and Hand of God (2014)

He’s certainly earned his geek-cred, appearing in Blade, Star Trek: Nemesis (2002), Hellboy and Pacific Rim (2013), and in many ways would be perfect for the role through his frequent portrayal of gruff characters, though having said that, his recent turn as Hannibal Chau shows that he is prepared to not take himself too seriously. This is definitely a prerequisite for Jameson, which Simmons previously, has been only too willing to demonstrate.

7. Tom Hanks- As seen in Forrest Gump (1994), Toy Story (1995) and The Da Vinci Code (2006)

The unlikeliest choice on this list because of his extremely high profile, but a guy can dream can’t he? Typically seen as an American everyman character like in Bridge of Spies (2015), when Hanks is given different roles to play he tackles them with great aplomb and interesting results; look no further than his role in Road to Perdition (2002) and Cloud Atlas (2012). It would be great to see him as a less benign character, and to bring out his louder and angrier side.

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“I Want Pictures Of Spider-Man!” 7 Actors Who Could Be The New J. Jonah Jameson
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