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If you're in a romantic relationship and you've never Netflix cheated, chances are you've still been Netflix cheated on.
Netflix cheating is considered by many to be an unforgivable sin, while others see it as nothing but a moment of weakness. With all the must-watch Netflix series' out there, it almost seems impossible to stay faithful. Whether you're the perpetrator or the victim, you should be familiar with some of these lies you tell when Netflix cheating on your partner.
You use a different Netflix identity.
Your whirlwind of deceit starts by lying to Netflix about your identity. You must prevent your covert binging spree from coming back to bite you, so it’s absolutely imperative to log in to a different Netflix profile before you start binge-watching whatever it is you should be waiting to watch with your partner.
If you don’t lie about your identity before you start watching a show ahead of your significant other, then you’ve probably had to tell Lies #5 and #6.
"Not much, you?"
You’re gearing up to watch the next episode of The Walking Dead behind your partner’s back when he or she texts you and asks what you’re up to or how your day is going.
You could respond by saying something along the lines of, “I’m breaking our tacit contract and finishing The Walking Dead without you.”
But you have the right to remain silent, and that’s what you’ll do if you don’t want to get caught flirting with an original series. Cheaters who are particularly sneaky may even go so far as to say that they're bored!
You reset the playback to resume where you and your partner left off.
Back in the days before streaming services, TV infidelity was excusable. But this article is about 21st-century entertainment, and streaming services keep track of your progress so that you don't waste time or get spoiled looking for the exact spot where you left off.
Novice Netflix cheaters often get caught by their significant other after failing to move the playback marker to the spot where they left off together.
So, if you and your partner got through three episodes of Stranger Things last night, and you plowed through three more today behind your partner’s back, it's crucial to be meticulous. I've encountered Netflix cheaters who are so calculated that they take a screenshot of the spot where they stopped watching with their partner before resuming it alone. If that's not vindictive, I don't know what is.
If you do forget to go back to where you were before you Netflix cheated, then you might relate to lies #5 and #6.
"I can't wait to cuddle up together and watch the next episode of Walking Dead."
You know it full well: when you’ve been Netflix cheating on your partner, the last thing you want to do is cuddle and watch TV episodes for what you know to be the second time.
What you really mean to say is that you can’t wait to watch the episode after the next episode.
People who tell this lie are offering intimacy to compensate for their infidelity and lack of faith, which is very cunning and manipulative.
"Why don't you make a delicious snack while I load Netflix?"
This step is crucial if you didn’t take the precautionary measures in Lies #1 or #3.
You need to make sure you covered your tracks efficiently before opening Netflix in front of your partner, so you tell them you have a craving for that snack they sometimes make. That way, you get some time alone to “cover your tracks,” AND you get a delicious snack to help you get through the looming rerun of the original series you've been visiting behind your partner's back.
"My friends are tampering with my algorithm!"
This is a good lie if you have friends who use your Netflix account. This lie gives the perpetrator an excuse for having Orange Is the New Black and other great Netflix originals on your recently played when you promised your partner you’d wait for them to watch it. It’s the only explanation. Unless, of course, you’ve been Netflix cheating.
You could win an Academy Award for 'Best at Faking Surprise.'
Aside from practicing your surprised facial expression in the mirror, you also go through a list of ways to verbally express surprise. You have to be as convincing as a Beverly Hills native; too much emphasis or excitement and your partner will sense that something's amiss, but if you’re caught zoning out during the plot twist, your significant other may very well start to suspect that you’ve been Netflix cheating. That’s where the next lie comes in.
"I accidentally read a spoiler!"
Netflix cheaters who are particularly manipulative can likely relate to one of the most effective lies you tell when Netflix cheating. It’s the one you resort to when your partner notices that you’ve been paying less attention to the original series than you usually do while binge watching TV shows.
Maybe you didn’t spend enough time practicing your surprised face in the mirror before your partner got home, perhaps your partner caught you looking at your phone one too many times during the most compelling scene of that episode of Stranger Things you're watching together, or maybe you accidentally admitted to knowing what happens.
Whatever the scenario, with all of the information available to us online, accidental exposure to critical spoilers is entirely within the realm of possibility.
If you feel that your partner begins to suspect that you have been Netflix cheating, you then deceitfully point out that they are lucky you were considerate enough to keep the spoiler to yourself.
"It's not my fault you fell asleep!"
There could be some truth to this lie if your partner fell asleep when you were supposed to be binge-watching a TV show together; after all, the term "Netflix and chill" doesn't have to have any ulterior meaning.
A quarter of all reported Netflix cheating happens after one partner falls asleep, leaving the other with the perfect excuse to keep watching. It sounds to me like more people need to sleep with one eye open!
But whether continuing shows after your partner falls asleep counts as cheating is up for debate. After all, unless your partner is a loud snorer, nobody can prove you were aware that your significant other ever fell asleep when they were supposed to be watching House of Cards with you.
"It was just one episode!"
It may have felt like just a moment of weakness, but if you’re the kind of person who literally cannot wait for their partner to resume the binge, then what are the chances that you can exercise enough self-control to only Netflix cheat with one episode?
If you got lucky and ran out of time and were forced to stop binging behind your partner’s back, perhaps there is some truth to this lie. In that scenario, your dishonesty lays in the way in which you’ve painted yourself as the good guy when you know that, had you enough time, you would have finished the entire series ahead of your significant other.
"It won't happen again!"
This is the biggest of all the lies you tell when Netflix cheating. In fact, 81% of Netflix cheaters re-offend, and nearly half have cheated more than three times. If your partner can’t see through the it-won’t-happen-again cliché of a fib, maybe they deserve to be Netflix cheated on.