Lindsay Lohan's 'Beach Club:' Brent Marks' Douche Bag Moments

Lindsay Lohan. What can I say about Lindsay Lohan? She has been a prolific icon for the majority of the early 2000s and an inspiration to me since I was a bubble-gum popping tween. I own all of her movies and both of her records, Rumors, and A Little More Personal (Raw).

I own a letter from LL Rocks and three autographed posters. I’ve followed the OWN original series Lindsay as I was going through my own emotional rollercoaster. Recently she showed off her innate comedic nature in Netflix’s original series Sick Note.

Basically, I’m morbidly obsessed with Lindsay till this day. I’ve been following Lindsay on Instagram for a long time, so the introduction of Lindsay Lohan’s beach club in Mykonos wasn’t new to me. I was so excited that MTV partnered with my red-hot-haired goddess and gave her a platform where she can show off her entrepreneurial skills.

The first episode premiered on MTV January 8, 2019. It introduced us to the club’s VIP hosts meticulously picked out by Lindsay and her business partner, Panos Spentzos, based on their experience, rapport, and backstory. Seeing Lindsay in this new light is incredibly refreshing. She has embraced the role of a #bossbitch to its full extent and I cannot wait to see her edgy, raw side of managing a team and running a business throughout the show.

Panos is an incredible asset to the development of the Lohan brand. He is assertive, cunning, strict, but cares tremendously for Lindsay and the representation that she would potentially gain from this.

“I feel very protective of Lindsay because she’s a part of my family right now,” he says.

He’s the best friend that not anyone can just have, but wishes that they could.

The VIP hosts have been flown into Greece from various parts of the United States, we have flavors from the east and west coast. According to Lindsay, this is their first time working in a day club environment abroad.

One person, while not as loud as blue-haired Gabi Andrews, stood out from the rest of the crowd: Brent Marks.

Brent Marks is actually a Chicago native who is now a VIP host at Mykonos and has been hosting at various Las Vegas nightclubs. Despite his impressive resume, he presents himself as a straight fuck-boy if there ever was one, a perfectly replicated photograph of a way older bro.

When he got off the plane and introduced himself, I was intrigued and my first thought was...damn, you’re going to get in trouble. Christ, I mean, look at your abs.

Then, he had to open his mouth and nearly everything he said AND did was screaming douche-bag. Then I looked closer and realized that he looks exactly like my ex...all the more reason to loathe him.

So, here are five Brent Marks douchebag moments.

1. “My friends back home called me a waitress-slayer. I got let go of a job because I was sleeping with the waitresses’,” he proudly recalls in his introduction.

First of all, isn’t that kind of a major red flag? He has been recruited to represent a relatively newfound brand and I highly doubt that he fits the bill for what Lindsay is trying to build. This is an overly-confident guy who hasn’t gotten a clue about how unappealing he really is and how much that piece of information has tainted his credibility as a future host.

2. “I’m calling bullshit right now. If anything that she’s done, like..she’s just like.. [mocks another VIP host’s facial expression]. Just words. She’s just an idiot.”

This was during the first staff meeting when another VIP host, May, shared her previous experience working as an ambassador for Pepsi, Marc Jacobs, and various others. In this instance, it isn’t the word choice that bothers me because, quite frankly, the guy cannot articulate himself efficiently. It's his actions. He is mocking another girl who, as seen in the episode, is a little more bashful than the rest of the cast. I think it’s completely uncalled to call someone an idiot and demonstrate to the public a poor depiction of what he perceives her to look like. It’s actually kind of gross...and frankly made me cringe.

3. “I’m searching for bae. [...] I just don’t like vanilla, I just can’t date a basic girl. [...] It’s not that I don’t think blondes are pretty. It’s not my cup of tea.”

So Brent doesn't like white girls. Phew. This occurred during dinner at the VIP host villa when marketing model, Jules, asks him about his ideal type. Meanwhile, Brent takes a quick up-and-down glance and bluntly says this...directly to the girl who was trying to make conversation and just so happens to fit his undesired description. A little harsh, if I do say so myself.

4. “Sara...I think she’s so cute. I think we will hook-up at some point. I just gotta give her the look, you know? You know when you slightly put your head down? Then you look. You kinda squint. Awkwardly. Then they’re trapped. Then you gauge in her soul and you [clicks tongue] take it from her.”

This. This is the look.

Ew, are you some kind of devil in disguise? Luring women with your gaze straight to your bed. Classy AF, bro. If you claim to be looking for a devoted partner, that type of peacock approach is so passe.

5. “Panos told us to wear all white. I think I crushed that outfit and he didn’t like my jacket. It kind of threw me off cuz I thought Panos had style, but he went from having style to questionable.”

So...aside from the fact that he looks like an overpriced male escort, he’s blatantly disrespecting his boss because he got butt-hurt from being called out on how ridiculous he looked in his “slayed” white blazer. It’s Mykonos; 102 degrees on the beach and you’re trying to sport a blazer? I. Can’t. His arrogance and inflated ego really shows.

These are just five examples of his arrogant and rude persona. Do I think it’s a facade? Maybe, but then again he does suffer from a multitude of retrospective insecurities from being bullied at school as a teenager. It’s interesting to observe because it’s like a kid gone rogue.

I do have to give him credit for making the most sales on his very first day on the job. His premier task was to entertain a very prestigious client from Dubai, Natasha Papadopoulou, who was nothing short of demanding. Things got a bit heated when other hosts noticed that he was eagerly flirting and cuddling with the guest (at her own request, of course) spending a majority of his day in the reserved cabana taking shots and groping a model. I’m sure his buddies at home are thrilled.

“People will either like me or they’re going to hate me, there is no in-between,” he says.

Well, at least you got one thing right.