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Movie Review: 'Paddington 2'

Why do I loathe a movie everyone else seems to love?

By Sean PatrickPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Before the comments come, I can already hear you: "lighten up!" "It’s just a kids movie!" "All the other critics like it!: I can hear you saying these things before you type them as a response to this review; there is no need for you to repeat them. I’m speaking of my hatred for Paddington 2 and what I already know will be the response to that hatred. Paddington 2 has received across the board raves and yet I hated almost every second of it.

Paddington 2 returns to the story of Paddington Brown, voiced by Ben Whishaw, the good hearted young bear that moved to London in the first film of this franchise and is now a staple of the lives of the residents in his small corner of London. Paddington spends his days wheeling about London accidentally righting wrongs or creating new forms of chaos via his lovable clumsiness.

Things take a turn when Paddington’s friend, antique shop owner, Mr. Gruber (Jim Broadbent), shows him a London Pop-up book that Paddington believes would be the perfect gift for his Aunt Lucy (Imelda Staunton), in place of her actually traveling to London. Unfortunately, the pop-up book is very expensive and Paddington will need to raise $1000.00 in order to purchase it.

The book, it turns out, is an artifact related to a traveling circus and when Paddington passes on its existence to a washed up former movie star named Phoenix Buchanan (Hugh Grant), the movie star remembers the legend around it and sets about stealing it while framing Paddington for the crime through the cunning use of disguise and sleight of hand magic.

This doesn’t sound like much, does it? Paddington 2 sounds perfectly inoffensive from that description. In many ways, Paddington 2 is perfectly inoffensive. The production design is rather lovely, Paddington is a terrific special effects creation, and the actors all seem very committed to telling this story. So why did I loathe Paddington 2 so much? Why does just recalling the story fill me with such revulsion?

Paddington 2 is based on a classic idiot plot wherein seemingly normal characters are required to be incredibly dimwitted as a function of the plot. Take for instance Paddington’s first attempt at getting a job to raise the money for his Aunt’s birthday present. Paddington goes to work at a barber shop and is immediately left alone by the owner. He then goes on to nearly destroy the place, as well as the head of a customer and goes on unpunished. Yes, he loses the job but the scene is so stupid and contrived I sympathized with the people who are supposed to be the butt of the scene’s jokes rather than with Paddington who I wanted to strangle.

The plot of Paddington 2 places all of the human characters in the position of tolerating all that Paddington does while being dumb enough to move the cranking, clanging gears of this idiot plot. When Paddington is framed for stealing the book every character in the movie has to be dumb enough or greedy enough that they aid in sending what appears to be a child bear to an actual prison for ten years.

Yes, Paddington goes to jail in Paddington 2. While there, he’s repeatedly threatened with bodily harm in stock scenes from a dozen different prison movies that should play like parody but are performed so flat and straight, the parody never comes to life. Poor Brenden Gleeson plays the big bad guy in prison who, naturally, is hiding a heart of gold. Gleeson's Nuckels McGinty falls for Paddington’s cuteness and optimism and you know where this plot is heading and it’s never funny getting there.

The only actor able to get a laugh in Paddington 2 is Sally Hawkins as Mrs. Brown and boy does she have to work to get those laughs. Her flailing attempts to get Paddington out of jail and prove that Grant’s actor is the real bad guy, are mildly amusing and downright hysterical compared to every other attempt at gags in Paddington 2. Hawkins has an off-kilter sense of comedy that makes her the only character who escapes how stupid this plot requires everyone to be.

I know, I’m not the audience for Paddington 2. What baffles me is what other adults, younger and older than I, see in this movie. I do not get the appeal. Paddington as a character is cute but that doesn’t mean the movie doesn’t function on the obvious beats of an idiot plot. What is it about this idiot plot that other people don’t mind and I simply couldn’t stand? I may never understand. As for you dear reader, I suggest you see Paddington 2 for yourself if you want to try to understand.

I am not recommending the movie per se, just acknowledging that I am in a great minority of opinion when it comes to Paddington 2. I outright loathe this movie while others rapturously love it and I cannot effectively explain why. I know why I hate it, I’ve explained that well enough, but why do so many others love it? It’s a mystery to me so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

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About the Creator

Sean Patrick

Hello, my name is Sean Patrick He/Him, and I am a film critic and podcast host for the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast I am a voting member of the Critics Choice Association, the group behind the annual Critics Choice Awards.

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