'Stranger Things' Season Three Is Trash

Being a fan of Netflix’s overnight hit Stranger Things, it pains me to have such a strong negative opinion of the highly anticipated third season to feel the need to write this out, merely a month after it hit the streaming site. I stumbled upon the first season back in 2016 and like everyone else was captivated by the 80s nostalgia, likable (and not-so-likable) characters, creepy plot, and fantastic visuals. But somehow the qualities that drew me into the first season, and subsequently, the second, made me absolutely hate the third season. Here’s why season three was absolute garbage:

The aesthetic of the third season—heavy handed on the nostalgia, near-epileptic flashing lights, neon everywhere, and of course, the scrunchies—would have been fine had this been the aesthetic of the show all along. But the first two seasons, while relying on 80s nostalgia to cement the setting of the show, didn’t have to hammer in the neon to the point of being an eyesore. As an audience, we understood the events of the show were taking place in the 80s by subtle and accurate use of aesthetic styling; the intro being the dead giveaway that it is, we can also look at the clothing the characters wore, the synth-driven soundtrack, Hopper’s GMC K5 Blazer, and the obvious 80s technology (remember that typewriter seen in the first interaction between Hopper and Joyce? Or Joyce’s wall phone?). Not to mention, the show doles out homages to prominent 80s pop culture so often you could make a drinking game out of it. The aesthetic is kept even in the official merchandise; the box set for Season One resembles a VHS tape. Yet in the third season, they amp up the 80s aesthetics so much that it’s stylistically inconsistent to the rest of the show, to the point that it doesn’t even look the same, save for the characters we see. And dare I say, the climactic battle between our gangling cast of misfit heroes and the Mind Flayer would have been a helluva lot more visually appealing had the rest of the season not been an acid trip of strobes and gimmicky, flashy lights.

The characters themselves got worse this season, our most obvious offender being Hopper. It seems as if Hopper devolved from his previous character arc of moving out of the thick fog of grief he was stuck in over his daughter Sara—when we’re introduced to Hop originally he’s about as stereotypical a douche as they come, being an alcoholic womanizer who is completely incompetent at his job. Season Two sees him become emotionally available, taking care of El, comforting Joyce through her grieving Bob, and working in tandem with the rest of the gang to solve the mystery of Will’s possession. But come Season Three, Hopper seems to have reverted to the arrogant, controlling man he had ceased to be—when Joyce turns down his romantic advances, he becomes petty and downright angst-y to the detriment of everyone else’s safety because he’s too wrapped up in his own romantic frustration to even hear Joyce out when she comes to him with her ever-kooky but dead-on concerns. Not to mention he takes his own romantic angst out on El, by threatening Mike into staying away from her without communicating his concerns in a healthy way, thus ruining Mike and El’s relationship for the duration of the season. Frankly, I found Hop to be downright insufferable this season and didn’t much care that he maybe-died at the end since I was so annoyed with him every single episode.

Mike’s characterization had the opposite effect, whereby he neither grew nor devolved, but stayed exactly the same—selfish, controlling, and immature. His interactions with El and their juvenile relationship, while played mostly for laughs, was mind numbing to watch because of the constant excuse he threw around that he only controlled her and was overprotective because he “loved her.” Come on, buddy!

And keeping with Season Three’s apparent theme of throwing previous seasons’ direction to the wind, Will is criminally sidelined the entire season and functions only to be the gang’s de facto “spidey sense” (take a shot for every time Will grabs his neck and freakishly whispers “He’s here!”). The scene of Will destroying Castle Byers could have been explored more in-depth as the crushing and traumatic loss of childhood, but instead the writers figured him trashing his fort was enough exploration of that theme. Lazy! Another strike on the list was his lack of interaction with his brother and mom, who, up until this season, had been his absolute champions and nearly had a nervous breakdown anytime they left his side. It’s not in standing with their characterization that they would basically abandon him until the very end without even vocalizing their fears about his safety.

And where the hell was Lucas? Present but not really there, Lucas’s shining moment was his Ole Reliable slingshot move, and then he mumbled some for-laughs lines about his teenage insistence on understanding girls despite Max dumping him every other minute, and then... not much else happened with him. The introduction of his sister Erika was hyped up to be a great addition to the cast, but her character was snared in the trope of the sassy/angry black girl, which is a disservice to who she could have been. Her snide remarks and general attitude were meant to be funny and likable, but after Sassy Retort #1000, it grated on the nerves and made her scenes annoying and eye-roll inducing. Not to mention the bit at the end where she’s gifted the Dungeons and Dragons set and is supposed to be—shock!—into it, despite ripping her brother and his friends for it for an entire two seasons prior. You tried, Stranger Things' writers, but not too hard, obviously. Don’t even get me started on how throwaway Billy’s character was—thank you, Dacre Montgomery, for putting some life into his eyes, literally.

Steve’s great and acclaimed character development was chucked in the bin as his character this season was nothing short of the comic relief guy, flouncing around in his Skip’s Ahoy uniform for the entire season, suddenly losing all of his game with the girls, and getting banged around like he was an extra on a wilder episode of Tom and Jerry. Is it really a season of Stranger Things if Steve doesn’t get absolutely rocked in the eye socket? The silver lining to the cloud of his sorry character arc in Season Three was his continued friendship with Dustin, being the only one who really cared that he was back from summer camp, which is another strike you can add to the list of grievances against our geek squad. At least the meager positive characterization we can hold up from Season Three’s dudes was Dustin gaining maturity, independence, and confidence (and who can forget his amazing yet poorly timed duet with Suzie?).

In the spirit of not being a Debbie Downer, I must admit that the women this season flourished the most; Max being included more, her girl gang friendship with El (who is learning to be independent of the men and boys around her) and Joyce, who just really loves her kids and is never credited with pretty much always being right. Despite my love of the new character Robin, I’m disappointed that they pulled a quick “Surprise! She’s gay!” while completely ignoring the historical context of that important coming out scene seeing as the show is set in the 80s, which was when homophobia was rampant due to the Reagan presidency and the full blown AIDS crisis. Coming out back then meant social ostracization, so to downplay not only her coming out to Steve but Steve’s acceptance of her being gay was... not a good look on the writers’ part. However, Robin stole every scene she was in and was a great addition to the cast, so for now, since she’s new, I can look past that flop of a plot line.

And that brings us to plot, which, may I start by saying... where did it go? Season One and Two were committed to the mystery of Dr. Brenner’s experiments in the lab, which subsequently brought about the whole alien problem. In Season Two, Murray hints at the angle of Russian scheming, but the overall direction of the plot is still focused on scummy Dr. Brenner and how deep the government cover-ups could be going. And then Season Three grabs the baton of Russian scheming and Usain Bolt’s its way to where we are now. Did I miss something? Brenner isn’t mentioned once this season, nor is El’s sister Kali, despite her creepy prophesying and emotional manipulation of El. Another throwaway character? Some theories are that the “American” the Russians referenced at the end could be Dr. Brenner, and you know what? I almost hope it is, just so his plot line can have some concrete resolution. Other notable flop-lines include: the Queer Baiting of Will Byers (and really any queer-themed hints we see throughout the show), The Miseducation of Nancy Wheeler, the not-so-subtle nationalistic theme of the season, and, the worst of them all, the weak pseudo-child abuse background to Billy’s character, which the writers tried to introduce, flesh out, and resolve in, like, five literal minutes of screen time. Another swing and a miss!

My only hope for Season Four is, honestly, better writing and characterization. It was a major disappointment to wait over a year for Season Three to be the dumpster fire that it is, so if Season Four is another shovel full of ashes on the heap, I’ll be close to ripping my hair out. Season Three was all flash and no substance, a shocking letdown from the great buildup before it. Maybe next season they can budget out more time in the writer’s room in lieu of strobe lights? Here’s hoping.