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The Unauthorized Full House Story

Lifetime Movies at Its Worst

This is hopefully the last time I review an "unauthorized" story. I feel like they are just trying to tell a scandalous story with these, but what it is, is a cheap attempt to cash in on a popular show. Luckily for this one it's only slightly better than the Saved by the Bell one in that it doesn't focus on one person's side of the story. The down side: the acting and the set is way worse. When I pressed play I expected to see somewhat of a look into Bob Saget's best stand up comedy, Dave Coulier dating, Alanis Morissette and John Stamos having better hair.

Now let me start off by saying I'm a fan of Full House. Yes I know the show is corny but it's fully aware of it. Believe me there was no episode where I thought, Damn that's just as good as Breaking Bad. But I enjoy it for the simple fact that it's a show about a family that loves each other, which I can relate to. Fuller House, the sequel show to Full House, is coming back to Netflix on Friday and what's a better way to bring back a classic then by telling the shittier version of the show, not Fuller House, it was the movie I was talking about.

This movie kept the tradition of making sure that this is unauthorized by showing episodes that never happened. Like remember the episode when Joey and Jessie had to cook eggs and they didn't know how to? Or that episode when Joey had a sleep walking problem, or when they set the kitchen on the left of the set and the living room was on the right? Remember the first episode when the Olsen twins were three years old? I get it for legal reason (probably, I'm far from being a lawyer) but why do it when you know fans are going to watch these and say this is wrong, that's wrong and why are the Olsen twins three years old in the first season of the show?

The actors playing, well, the Full House actors are just awful. This is the worst acting I've seen since binge watching SyFy network's classic shark movies. The guy playing Bob Saget is trying to be this edgy badass but he acts like he's bored and not really interested in playing a man who once joked about fucking Kimmy Gibler. The kid actors are the best because they actually show they care about the characters they play. The girls who play the Olsen twins well they're three years old, I'm not going to judge a three-year-old's acting ability.

The movie shows the start of the show, Bob Saget's misery, and how John Stamos was looking for love this whole time with Aunt Becky. Yes let's talk more about how Bob just wanted to tell dirty jokes and not take anything seriously. And yes I want to know more about Dave Coulier's two year marriage and how the Olsen twins became the real stars of the show. (I'm surprised the show didn't talk about how people thought the twins were one person named Mary Kate Ashley Olsen.)

I couldn't take this movie after an hour. I just got a headache from watching the actors trying to act and the story just feeling rushed that I couldn't take it. It's almost nine in the morning and I want wine. It's such a cheaply made cash in movie that I felt like it was rushed and not really taking the time or the care that it needed.

I really felt like I knew all this before I saw this movie. Which I guess either makes me a super fan or someone who has no life whatsoever (I'm leaning towards the second one). But the way they tell the story of one of the most popular shows of the 90s is done so rushed, so all over the place, and terribly acted I say skip and just watch the original. I promise it's way better than this.