I would never say I was a movie buff, because I think people who say that are really pretentious; for me, it's along the same lines as saying "I'm a foodie." Well, clap, clap, clap, good for you. But I do love movies, especially action, horror and psychological thrillers.
But as much as I know movies aren't real, I think a hefty dose of reality is sometimes needed in the film to make it more realistic and in turn, more interesting. There is nothing more scary than a movie that makes you think that those situations could come true.
But there are certain things in movies that are supposed to be realistic, but they just aren't, and it bugs me; why bother going to all that effort to make a movie and then getting lazy with some convenient plot devices?
This is the one that annoys me the most about movies; I don't know much about guns, but I do have a crossbow, so I know that being a good shot takes practice, and lots of it. Yet these people who have never picked up a gun in their entire life and have spent the whole movie running can suddenly hit a moving target right between the eyes.
Again, I don't know anything about guns, but I imagine it takes a little bit more work than that.
The Noisy Phone Call
What kind of coverage do you have that you can hear someone on the other end of the phone with a helicopter running literally 10 meters away from you? I struggle to hear when someone opens a bag of crisps. Your hearing must be amazing!
I have never (so far) been in or anywhere near an explosion, thankfully, but if I had, I don't for one second think I would walk away from it looking cool. I also wouldn't be able to hear a damned thing because of the volume of the explosion, but if you are in a movie this isn't a problem for you; maybe they turn the explosion down?
The Car Chase
People in the movies must be used to car chases because there never seems to be anybody on the path. And on the rare occasions that there is someone on the path, they get out of the way just in time, and nobody is ever run over.
When I take my glasses off, I still look like me, just without my glasses on. Kind of glasses-less potato. But when a girl in the movies takes their glasses off, BAM! She goes from frumpy, badly dressed potato to the most beautiful girl in school even though she looks no different!
The Air Vent
Nobody in the whole world screws air vents on, the covers can all be removed without tools, and the ventilation system is always big enough for a fully grown adult male to crawl through.
If there are two people whose native language is, let's say Japanese, they for some odd reason will speak English to each other when they are alone together; maybe they like the practice?
Being chased by assassins or whatever? No problem, just find the nearest parade—there will be one—and take cover in there. You will be able to see them, but they won't be able to see you and will give up really quickly!
Nobody Pays for Anything
In the movies, you can just walk up to a bar and order a beverage, drink said beverage, and leave without paying a penny! I wish more places adopted this business plan!
People Don't Use Toothpaste
Whenever anyone is brushing their teeth in a movie, there is no foam, no drool, absolutely nothing; they seem to be brushing their teeth with a dry toothbrush. I don't know how effective that it going to be.
The Wild Animal
No matter what kind of wild animal it might be, it will let you help it if it is injured, when in reality it would either run like the wind or try to eat your face.
Got a Cough? Better Plan Your Funeral
If you have a cold in the movies, it's a lot more glamorous than real life. You will sneeze a few times, and blow your nose but nothing will come out. But I'm afraid if you have a cough in the movies, that means you're dying. Anyone with a long term or terminal illness always has a cough, even when the actual name of the illness is never disclosed.
Teeth Don't Go Bad in Movies
The same applies for long running TV shows, but in a post apocalyptic society, no matter how dirty your face is, or how greasy your hair might be, your teeth are always pearly white.
The News Is Always On
Nobody ever watches any channels apart from the news in films. All you need to do is press the on button and voila, the news is on, just at the right bit that concerns you. You didn't miss anything you got all of the details you needed; they were waiting for you.
I am not sure what kind of idiot leaves spare keys right outside the house, or spare car keys in the passenger seat visor, but you need to stop; your car will get stolen and your house will get robbed!
I know these things make for a convenient film, but isn't it time that we ditched convenience and cliché in favor of reality?