Top 10 Funniest Movie Insults

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me… Whoever believed that, anyway?? Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 funniest movie insults.

For this list, we’re focusing on the cinematic slurs that had us laughing out loud. Insults are all manner of things, but to make this list they have to be funny without falling into the realm of obscene language, because that’s a list for another day!

This top-class setup and perfect punchline insults "yo’ mama" and really hits home. No matter how good their competition is on the court, no one stands a chance against Billy Hoyle’s sharp tongue. A trash-talking master, Woody Harrelson’s the bad cop to Wesley Snipes’ good, and this public put-down is jail-worthy. Trying to psyche out the competition into making a mistake, Harrelson hits way below the belt. It’s a priceless play and a savage slam-dunk!

When the nerd faces off against the jerky jock, we gotta root for the underdog—and when it comes to their classic exchange, we’re sure we picked the right side. Face-to-face with big man on campus Stan Gable—and not happy about it—Dudley “Booger” Dawson delivers one of the greatest lines in insult history, to no one in particular.

Unlike Booger’s quiet quip, this verbal low blow is heard loud and proud—by the Mayor of New York, no less. Against an irate Walter Peck, Pete Venkman uses his dry wit to go straight for the jugular—or should we say straight for the testicular. Nothing says “screw you!” like mocking a guy’s manhood—and it gets an appropriate response from Mr. Pecker—Peck. “If there’s something strange in your neighborhood,” insulting its reproductive organs may be a good idea.

Ahh, the ugly joke… Will it ever get old? Not for us, and not for Ham Porter. His delivery is spot on as he lowers his voice and heightens the hilarity with this classic quip. A dog can be ugly; its butt even more so. But, if your face is worse than Fido’s shorn derrière, you’re doing something seriously wrong. Take note batters, and take a look in the mirror.

An insult-spouting legend, Patches O’Houilihan strikes comic gold during his terrific team pep talks. The Average Joes with their less-than-average performance are in need of motivation, so this dodgeball legend rolls in to help. However, Patches’ motivational style involves breaking his team down and then building them back up again. Questionable as that technique may be, it works; and Patches packs a punch with one comment in particular. Hey, whatever works.

After Mrs. Broflovski complains about the negative influence TV has on kids and wages war on Terrance and Phillip’s home country of Canada, Eric Cartman has had enough. When he can’t hold it in anymore, his rage bursts forth in the form of an unforgettable song and dance number that crosses lines of decency with every verse. It’s so catchy; Cartman even gets some backup from his schoolyard chums. Cartman’s stand is hilariously rude, a rise against parents and a teenage anthem. And it’s got a big finish!

Ah young love: at one moment, it can burn as brightly as the sun. The next moment, it can turn sour. But rarely is that downward spiral expressed so eloquently and with such pizazz as in this film. After Tod bursts through the door to apologize and declare his love, he’s quickly sent packing with a ringing in his ears. Sharp and with sizzle, it’s a very harsh prize put-down —and the fact that’s it’s said to Keanu Reeves is just icing on the cake.

Ron is furious after Veronica reads the news while he’s trapped in a glass case of emotion, and the two don’t handle their mutual anger well. They can’t seem to be near each other without verbally sparring. Undeterred by the watching crowd, the anchorman confidently delivers his zinger with a steely eye and stiff upper lip—mustachioed as it may be. Ms. Corningstone gets some comebacks in there, but we barely heard them we were laughing so hard at the pirate hooker thing. Unfortunately, Ron did.

Fresh off a Billy Madison speech that leaves the crowd cheering comes a judicial jibe that cuts deep. Fan-favorite Billy at his moment of triumph is hit with an insult so hilariously hyperbolized it leaves us as shell-shocked as Sandler’s character. The combination of the harsh words and the ultra-cool delivery ensures that this sentiment shall not be forgotten. As scathing as it is special, it’s our number two.

Before we let our top pick loose, here are a few honorable mentions:

• No Respect; Caddyshack (1980)
• Elf Cursing; Elf (2003)
• Jive Turkey; Semi-Pro (2008)

Monty Python’s French Taunter has heckled his way to the top—and deservedly so. A warrior of words with a certain je ne sais quoi, he sits atop the castle wall and awaits a time when he’s able to give passing English monarchs what for! But the cream of the crop when it comes to his verbal sparring? It’s a taunt from the turrets that will stand the test of time. Of course, that’s when things get really serious…

Do you agree with our list? Whose harsh words do you think we missed? For more offensive Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.