Who Am I and What Are My Articles About?

Who am I? No, that is not a vague reference to the essay writing subplot of the John Hughes classic, The Breakfast Club (the greatest teen movie ever made, my opinion). Nor it is referencing the Jackie Chan movie of the same name. If you are reading my articles, be it intentionally or by happenstance, I believe it’s only fair to properly introduce myself and explain what I’m doing here. So, my fellow cinephiles, my fellow movie buffs, my fellow movie critics and movie producers, let’s all go on a cinematic journey together.

For the purposes of my articles, I will be going by the name of Michael C. The “C” stands for “cinephile.” Ever since I was a small child, I loved movies. I was lucky enough to be born during the 1980s, around the time when the VHS and VCR were in their prime. Video tape rental stores, be it giant chains like Blockbuster, or local “ma and pa” establishments were plentiful, and my family took advantage of these stores every weekend. We would all sit on the family couch, cover ourselves with an extra large and hideously green colored blanket, and watch the epic, cinematic tales as told by Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, James Cameron, Joe Dante, Ivan Reitman, Robert Zemeckis, Richard Donner, Tim Burton, and the previously mentioned John Hughes, just to name a few.

As time went by and I grew up, movies were still a staple of my life. In school, teachers would show movie clips or entire films in order to provide a visual aid to their lesson plans. During the summer, I was part of a traveling camp, which took us across the country via tour buses, and to pass the time, we watched movies on overhead screens. As the independent filmmaking revolution of the 1990s came to be, I discovered other storytellers like Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Kevin Smith, and Richard Linklater; and Joss Whedon through the start of the golden age of television. Each individual brought their own style and voice.

I would go on to take a film appreciation course in high school, which gave me a more nuanced view of movies, and a deeper understanding of them. I was the president of the film club at my local community college. I have written a dozen screenplays of short and long formats. And, according to Netflix’s ratings page, I have watched over 3,500 movies or TV series within my lifetime. In other words, motion pictures are my passion, my favorite hobby, and my go-to means of entertainment.

Which brings us to current day. I have a Netflix account for both their streaming service and their mail-in DVD rental service, a half dozen AMC gift cards that I plan on using throughout this year, and on-again, off-again accounts with Amazon Video and Hulu. Oh, and I have a DVD collection that spans three racks, not to mention that I’m subscribed to every one of the Joblo YouTube channels, so I never miss a new movie trailer. Needless to say, I have several options when it comes to my movie watching. Which made me think. We’re living in a day and age of online streaming, in which anyone can become famous thanks to services like YouTube or Twitch. Major film and television production companies will spend billions of dollars to produce content for the general public to consume, and I will be consuming most of it. Being a consumer of content, I felt it was my time to also become a creator of content.

No, I’m not going to start filming myself acting like an unhinged idiot in public (the Internet already has plenty of people who do that). What I am going to do is slowly build up a media reviewing platform. With all this content that I am consuming, I should give my opinion of what content is worth your time, and what content should be avoided at all cost. Yes, I am well aware that I will probably not reach of the levels of stardom that the late, great Siskel and Ebert reached as film critics, but that is not my intention. I don’t stare blankly at the colors on a theater screen or a TV screen when I watch a movie; I am mentally dissecting said movie. The acting, the camerawork, the production design, the plot and dialogue, the editing; they are all parts of a bigger whole. If one of those puzzle pieces doesn’t fit, the entire image is ruined. When everything is alined, you get a masterpiece like Citizen Kane. When everything is messily thrown together, you get the worst movie ever made (in my opinion), Battlefield Earth. Trust me, you don’t want to spend any of your time or money on Battlefield Earth.

I don’t have any planned schedules in mind, but over the course of the year, I will be posting reviews on the movies that I see either in theaters, on streaming services, or on DVD rentals. I’ll give you my opinions, and whether or not you should bother watching said movies (or TV series). I go by the five star rating system, so don’t ask me about “what would you rate this movie on a scale of 1 to 10?” Five stars are far more simpler way to break down an opinion, and it makes for a neat logo. If you’re still stuck on the 1 to 10 grading system, just take my star ratings and multiply them by two.

To break it down, five stars (the overjoyed, green star, as in “go”) means I loved the movie, you should see it in theaters as soon as possible and at full price, and own it on DVD/Blu-Ray, or watch it on Netflix, if that’s the only means of seeing it. Four stars (the smiling, yellowish-green star) means I really liked the movie, and you should give it a chance in theaters, rent/own it on DVD/Blu-Ray, or stream it on Netflix or wherever it may be available. Three stars (the indifferent, yellow star, as in “slow down”) means I liked the movie just fine, you should wait if you want see it in theaters and you should only go either at matinee price or with a gift card. Rent the DVD/Blu-Ray or stream it if you’d like, or wait until it’s on cable. Two stars (the frowning, orange star) means I didn’t like the movie, you shouldn’t see it in theaters, only rent it on DVD/Blu-Ray or stream it if you have no other options, or watch it on cable if you just want background noise while you’re doing something else. One star (the outraged, red star, as in “stop”) means I absolutely hated the movie, and you shouldn’t watch it in any format, just don’t bother, unless you want to hate watch it or see for yourself why it’s so awful, and do so through free, but legal means.

Thank you for going on this cinematic journey with me. I hope my reviews help you choose what to spend your time and money on. That all being said, welcome to Fanpicked Media, where we help pick the media that’s best for your consumption. And remember, when it comes to the media that you consume, be like Indiana Jones, and choose wisely.