Who's Really to Blame for the Death of Romeo and Juliet?

The story of Romeo and Juliet is one with many flaws and actions that took place, that lead to many tragic deaths, including the lives of the two young protagonists of the story. Many blame Romeo for the suicides of both himself and Juliet, who couldn’t live without the other. They believe that if Romeo hadn’t reacted to Juliet’s “death” so dramatically, the two could have survived and been together. Although that is an educated belief. However I believe there's someone else who could be blamed for the fate of the young couple, which is Friar Lawrence. The man who seems as if he tried “his best” to make the two a happily wedded couple. He was the one who got the two married in secret, gave Juliet an incredibly powerful potion which allowed her to fake her own death, failed to deliver and important letter to Romeo, and abandoned Juliet when she needed him the most.

When Romeo sees Juliet at her family's masquerade party, he immediately falls in love with her, and unlike his first love, Rosaline, Juliet feels the same. Soon, they are both head over heels for each other, and are ready to tie the knot. This is where I believe Friar Lawrence made his first mistake. When Romeo comes to Friar for advice as he has fallen in love with Juliet, the Friar advises Romeo to not rush into things and think through his decision. He is shocked Romeo got over Rosaline so quickly, but later skims over this thought and decides the two should marry.

Friar Lawrence: "Holy Saint Francis, what a change is here!

Is Rosaline, whom thou didst love so dear,

So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies

Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.

Jesus Maria, what a deal of brine

Hath washed thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline!

How much salt water thrown away in waste

To season love that of it doth not taste!

The sun not yet thy sighs from heaven clears,

Thy old groans ring yet in my ancient ears."

Lo, here upon thy cheek the stain doth sit

Of an old tear that is not washed off yet.

If e'er thou wast thyself and these woes thine,

Thou and these woes were all for Rosaline.

And art thou changed? Pronounce this sentence then:

Women may fall when there’s no strength in men.(2:3:65-81)

Friar can even tell that Romeo is too young to understand what true love is. He can see that their love is really just intense passion and infatuation that is likely to end, as he indicates in his lines,

Friar Lawrence: These violent delights have violent ends

and in their triumph die, like fire and powder" (9:10)

Yet, he still agrees to get the two of them married in secret by the next day. In Catholicism, it is required for a couple to be engaged for at least six months, but Friar Lawrence completely ignores that rule even though he is a very religiously wise man. He gets the two married so quickly, their own families don’t know. Although Friar’s intentions were peaceful, he hopes the marriage would end the fued between the families, but their families not knowing only made things worse. Capulet decides to get Juliet married to Paris, and tells her the day after her marriage to Romeo. Maybe if the families knew of the marriage, or even just that the two were in love and planned on getting married, the families could’ve worked their differences out and came through for the sake of their children. Also, Tybalt might have not reacted so violently about Romeo’s unwanted appearance at the Capulet family’s party. He might have understood why Romeo said that he loved him; because he loves his cousin and wants to bring peace among the two families. Yet, Romeo refrained from telling Tybalt and presented the wrong attitude. We must remember that Romeo and Juliet are both very young and naive. Although the roles of these ages were much different than today’s typical 13- and 17-year-olds, they are still very young and have not quite matured yet, so they might have not understood how getting married so quickly and suddenly could be problematic. Friar was the matured adult in this situation and instead of telling the two to wait and opening up the idea of marriage to the two families, he agrees to get the two married, in secret. Since the two were married and no one knew, it lead to greater problems in the near future.

Secondly, Friar was the one who gave Juliet a powerful potion that would make her appear as if she were dead, which only lead to her actual death. Of course, Juliet was threatening to kill herself, as she’d rather be dead than be married to Paris and be a disloyal wife to her husband, Romeo.

Juliet:"Be not so long to speak. I long to die

If what thou speak’st speak not of remedy."

(4:1:68-69)

Juliet was putting Friar under the pressure of giving her a solution for the terrible situation she’s in. Friar must’ve felt that he had to think quickly and effectively to help Juliet, but the solution he gave her was very extreme and doesn’t promise to work perfectly, and surely enough it didn’t. The Friar made a very uneducated decision when he decided to give an unstable 13-year-old girl a potion so powerful it will put her in such a deep sleep it will fool everyone around her that she is dead. Even Juliet has multiple fears before she drinks the potion. She fears she will wake up too soon before Romeo can get to her, and that she’ll wake up and suffocate in the vault. She also fears having to see her dead ancestors, including Tybalt’s corpse, and that she will go crazy from the memory of waking up in a tomb. All of these doubts Juliet is having are not impossible to happen, possibly even likely to happen. Yet, Friar Lawrence takes that grand risk and gives her the potion anyway.

Not only does Friar give a young girl such a powerful potion, but he makes very careless actions to make sure Romeo gets the letter explaining the plan he has come up with. Friar Lawrence gives the letter to Friar John to carry to Mantua without even explaining to him how greatly important it is that Romeo receives this letter. So of course, when Friar John faces some obstacles along his journey and has to return back to Verona without have delivering the letter.He doesn’t try to make sure the letter gets sent to Romeo because he doesn’t think it is so urgent and vital. Friar Lawrence could’ve took the letter to Romeo himself, so he could make sure that Romeo is aware of the plan. Friar also could have told Balthasar, Romeo’s loyal and trustable servant, the plan and have asked him to deliver it to Romeo. Since Balthasar, the only other person Romeo truly trusts in Verona, witnesses the funeral of Juliet, he runs off to inform Romeo. Due to the undelivered letter, Romeo believes Balthasar and ultimately thinks Juliet is dead. In multiple ways, Friar Lawrence could have prevented this from happening.

Last but definitely not least, Friar Lawrence shows an act of visible selfishness when Juliet wakes up out of her sleep and both find Romeo dead, as he has killed himself. When Juliet awakens, she asks Friar where Romeo is. When they discover that Romeo is dead, he tells Juliet to come away.

Friar Lawrence: “Come, come away.

Thy husband in thy bosom there lies dead,

And Paris too. Come, I’ll dispose of thee

Among a sisterhood of holy nuns.

Stay not to question, for the watch is coming.

Come, go, good Juliet. I dare no longer stay.”

(5:3:166-171)

Of course, Juliet is not willing to abandon Romeo. In a cowardly and selfish move, Friar Lawrence flees from the tomb yelling “I dare no longer stay,” knowing that what he has done is illegal. By abandoning Juliet, he gives her the chance to make her drastic move of using Romeo’s dagger to kill herself. If Friar had stayed with her, he could have prevented this from happening. If Friar had showed up to Juliet’s tomb before Romeo did, knowing that Romeo had no idea of the plan, he could have prevented both deaths from happening.

Many readers are often shook by the dramatic ending of Romeo and Juliet when hearing about the story for their first time. People choose to blame multiple people and many of the idiotic decisions and actions that took place. Friar Lawrence always seems to be loved by many, as Shakespeare presents him as a caring and wise character that did whatever he could to save Romeo and Juliet. However, if you take a deeper look into the story, you realize many of the major mistakes are to be blamed by Friar Lawrence. He rushed the young couple's marriage, gave Juliet a powerful potion to drink, failed to communicate to Romeo his plan and abandoned Juliet when she needed him most. Is Friar really as caring as Romeo and Juliet trusted him to be? Was he rather insane and selfish? Well there isn’t anything anyone can do now, “for never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”