Why Frozen Should Melt

This is the worst Disney movie to come out of the studio since Home on the Range in 2004. Disney had a nine-year run of good movies. Enter Frozen=Crap. But people LOVE it! They can't get enough of it. Why? Beats me. Tangled and Brave—two other princess movies that proceeded Frozen—were a million times better! So, where did Frozen go wrong?

1 - Plot Flop #1

At the beginning of the film, we learn that Elsa has magical powers. Cool! A magical princess, I'm down. But then things take a turn for the worse. Elsa zaps her sister Anna by accident while playing. Oops. Her parents take Anna to troll people to heal their baby girl. All better! But then, the trolls warn Elsa about her powers. How fear is her WORST ENEMY and that she needs to learn to control her power or things can get dicey. What do her parents do when they get home? Tell her to "Conceal, don't feel," and put gloves on. Her powers become something to fear and hide. But, didn't the troll say that fear was the "enemy?" Why would her parents support the fear? It's like they didn't listen to the troll people at all! The first time I saw it I thought Elsa was going to live with the troll people until she was twelve or thirteen, all the while learning to control and properly use her powers. Because... that would have made sense.

2 - Plot Flop #2

The parents both die on a ship in a hurricane, leaving the two young girls of about six and five years of age alone. Awe, that sucks! So wait, who is going to rule the kingdom? Elsa is next in line, but only six years old. Well, according to the movie, no one! They were just queen and king-less for over a decade. Oh, and did I mention that Elsa stayed in her room THE WHOLE TIME and the sisters never saw each other? Wait, what? Until Elsa turned eighteen, 12 years later, the girls have never seen each other or left the castle? What? That makes no sense! There’s a 12-year gap in the story that they try to toss snow over and hope that you don’t notice anything fishy.

3 - “Sisterly Bond”

How can you have a strong bond and “inside jokes” about chocolate if you haven’t seen or talked to a person in 12 years? Oh yeah, since Elsa never left her room for 12 years they not only never saw each other’s faces, but they never spoke! Anna would talk to Elsa through the door all the time but Elsa never responded. It doesn’t make sense how close Anna feels to Elsa throughout the story. She keeps making the statement “She’s my sister” and that’s why she has to find her and make everything alright again. But she is looking for a person that she doesn’t know personally or what she’s capable of.

4 - Elsa’s Giant Ice/Snowman

When Anna finally finds her sister out in the middle of nowhere in her—to be honest—awesome ice castle, Elsa tells Anna that she has to leave and throws herself a little tantrum. She was locked in a room for 12 years and never learned to control her powers, so what does she do? Shoots her sister in the heart with her ice. Smooth. What’s more, during Elsa’s tantrum she creates this crazy ice monster to … scare her sister away? The thing almost kills Anna! Elsa created a monster that almost killed her little sister, and … she’s totally ok with it because, “Anna needs to leave me alone” Hmmh, *stomp, fold arms and pout.*

5 - “Love Will Thaw”…? What?

They say at the end that “Love will thaw” … so … Elsa raises her hands and just melts everything. So, all of a sudden she loves everything and everyone and that's the answer? Or is it that she realized her sister loved her even though she didn’t deserve it and tried to kill Anna? It’s just so abrupt. She has an “Ah Hah” moment and BOOM! Everything is good! I call a rushed ending.

6 - Advertising

Dude! As it’s said in the song, Let it Freaking Go! They even made a stupid 25 minute movie called Olaf’s Frozen Adventure to put at the beginning of Coco (good movie!), only to be taken down after a month or so. And why? So they could make another freaking barbie doll! Yeah, that’s it! An Elsa doll that sings when you press her chest. And the whole thing is based on the 25 minute film that shows Elsa a whole … three minutes, maybe. It’s too much. I know that they advertise for Disney movies all the time and make all kinds of "merch." But this movie well overdid it. I cringe when I see anything Frozen.

So there you have it. One of the worst Disney movies in a long time and people love it. Why? Some have said it’s because “It’s the first movie where they said you don’t need a man to complete you” and “You can’t marry someone you just met” and “It’s 'girl power'” and “sisterly love.” Ok, let’s review previous movies.

• Maleficent - AMAZING movie if you haven’t seen it. Has nothing to do with a man taking the upper hand. True loves kiss doesn’t come from a dude, it comes from Maleficent because she loves Arorah like a daughter.
• Lilo and Stitch - Perfect display of sisterly love! They fight and get on each other's nerves. But in the end, they love each other and know that family is important.
• Brave - She fights for her OWN hand in marriage because she doesn’t want to be girly and married.
• Mulan - Dude … she was the first one to make herself the most badass chick in all of Disney! She went to WAR! Yeah, she fell for the Captain, but it wasn’t the reason she was there. She went so that her dad didn’t have to die.
• Hercules - Let’s go back farther and look at Meg. She wanted nothing to do with guys! She only got close to Herc because Hades made her. And then she fell for him cuz … who wouldn’t? She was even willing to walk away at the end! Sure she was sad, but she would have made it on her own.

Don’t sit there and say how “revolutionary” Frozen was in its themes for Disney. It wasn’t. It was just portrayed differently. Open yourself up to the good stuff and let this one melt away!