Why the Latest Episode of 'Riverdale' Confirms the Show Needs to Just Stop

I watched this week's Riverdale episode several hours ago, and I'm still cringing.

No, it's worse than that. I feel dirty. I feel like I've witnessed something I really shouldn't have, and my poor body is still feeling those disgusting effects.

If you haven't seen the episode, I would usually suggest you go watch it first before you read this. But since I really don't want the burden of having subjected anyone to that absolute cringe-fest, I'll let you all off the hook. Don't feel you have to watch the episode. Just believe me when I say it was a disaster.

It's "Pickens Day" in Riverdale, which means the entire city is meant to celebrate their founder in the form of a strange fair that, realistically, only a handful of people actually show up to. But they still spend the entire episode building this event up to be some huge city-wide celebration.

As it turns out, their cherished founder is actually a genocidal maniac who massacred the Uktena Tribe, the first occupants of the land which Pickens took over to create Riverdale. Somehow Jughead is surprised to learn that, such as in most events from history, Riverdale's past is white-washed.

Following the massacre, the remaining members of the Uktena Tribe created the Serpents. Jughead, being the most absurdly passionate Serpent despite having only been part of the group for like, a month, takes it upon himself to rile the troops and protest Pickens Day.

At the end of the episode, someone has beheaded the statue of Pickens and everyone's pissed off, I guess. And no one is wondering how someone managed to behead a bronze statue so cleanly without anyone noticing.

Of course, lots of other things happened in the episode. Archie tries to win over Hiram using high school wrestling (of course), Betty learns her psychotic brother, Chic, makes money from being a cam-boy, and Veronica ... I don't know, I think she sang a song or something.

Okay, now that all that's out of the way, let's get to the serious problems and why I believe it's time the writers give up on this disaster of a series.

1. Chuck Clayton is back??

Before the brief Christmas hiatus, Riverdale reintroduced the character of Chuck Clayton to the show. You remember him, right? He's the guy from the first season who Betty trapped in a hot-tub during her "black-Betty" phase. He left the show under the guise of a suspension after it was revealed he preyed on his female peers.

He returned in the second season episode, "Tales from the Darkside," where he's supposed to have changed for the better. He goes on a date with Josie, which I guess infuriated her stalker Cheryle (more on that later), who then accused him of being the one who sent Josie disturbing messages.

His fate was not clear, as we only see him being sent to the principal's office where he's questioned by the sheriff. But I think it's fairly safe to say he was probably facing suspension.

However, in this week's episode, Chuck is suddenly back and on the wrestling team and there is absolutely zero mention of his suspension, the disturbing message he definitely did not send, or his brief infatuation with Josie. Consider that storyline dropped. You should get used to that because it happens to virtually every storyline.

Case in point:

2. Cheryle and Josie

I guess the writers have just decided to abandon the very random, very awkward, very confusing storyline of Cheryle harboring strange, stalkerish feelings for Josie. On the one hand, I get this because I don't think this should have ever been any sort of storyline in the first place.

But on the other hand, I really don't support a show that suddenly introduces such a shocking storyline only to decide it's not worth pursuing, for what I imagine was a variety of reasons.

In this week's episode, Josie and Cheryle don't even speak. They went from being these super close friends to never even sharing a scene.

Are we supposed to just forget the way the writers set-up Cheryle to be an obsessed stalker? They made sure all signs pointed to Cheryle as being the one who sent the messages and the threatening drawings to Josie. But I guess it wasn't important enough to pursue so... let's all just forget that?

3. Wrestling Try-Outs

A strange part of this episode was the way the school conducted their wrestling try-outs.

In my experience, school sports teams try-outs are not open to the public. I guess it's not unusual for students to show up and watch, but I think parents showing up is a little strange, don't you?

Hiram Lodge was there. I get he's supposed to be some sort of Riverdale wrestling protegee or whatever, so maybe it's not so strange he was invited to watch the students wrestle each other. But Sherrif Keller was also there to watch his son try-out, which felt super weird. My parents never showed up to my school try-outs. No one's parents did. Very weird to have that sort of audience.

Speaking of audiences, the final try-outs featured bleachers full of people watching, adults and students included. I guess the most exciting events happening at the school include random wrestling try-outs. I'm surprised they didn't have the Riven Vixens out there cheering them on.

4. Mrs. Blossom is a lady of the night now.

I am all for women who love their bodies and feel empowered through sex. What you do with your body is your own business, certainly not mine. But this is so, so different.

Not only is Mrs. Blossom now getting dick daily, she's straight up flaunting this fact to her teenage daughter. In this week's episode, she reflects on the Blossom's ancestry to Cheryle, and remarks that they dealt in brothels.

She then says something to the effect of, "Old ways die hard" and offers a smug smile.

They're really pushing this random sub-plot onto us and by God, is it completely unwarranted. Stop whoring out Mrs. Blossom please, and please stop using Cheryle for sick shock value.

5. Sherrif Keller and Mayor McCoy

I guess we've also just completely abandoned that little plotline of Sherrif Keller and May McCoy banging in the motel. I don't really have anything else to say about this except that I feel like the writers were each given homework to come up with ONE shocking, soap-opera-esque plot-twist, and the best one would be put in the show.

One writer suggested Cheryle harbor secret, borderline stalker feelings for Josie and another suggested they make Mrs. Blossom a prostitute, for some reason. The last writer, who forgot they even had homework, sweated and agonized until it was his turn to present his plot-twist.

"Um...Sherrif Keller..." he began, looking nervously around the room. "He's a male character, I guess. And so is... um, Mayor McCoy ... So maybe they sleep together?"

The writer's room then burst into thunderous applause.

Wouldn't you know it? It was a three-way tie. Each writer was awarded their terrible twist being put into the show.

6. Sex jobs are O.K. but only if you're a woman.

The Coopers have recently brought a new family member into the show, their son Chic (ugh) who they gave up for adoption after he was born. Now he's back in their lives after Betty rescued him from a hostel where he was being harassed by the owner.

So, in this episode, we see all the Coopers (except for Polly) gathered at the breakfast table to engage in more awkward dialogue. Chic reveals that he sees "clients" at the hostel.

"What kind of clients?" Hal asks.

"All kinds," Chic answers ominously. "I can go into specifics if you'd like. Also got a pretty good collection of scars I could show you."

Okay, clearly Chic isn't a tax advisor. These "clients" aren't coming to his room at a hostel to ask him what deductibles they can claim on their returns. There's something else going on, presumably something dark and illegal. It's fair to assume prostitution, right? I mean, the writers are practically holding our hands and guiding us to that conclusion. Didn't he even say he works in "fantasy fulfillment" at one point?

Later in the episode, it is revealed that Chic also does online cam shows for money. This actually didn't seem so terrible to me. Is he hurting anyone? He's not doing anything illegal, and he's not involving anyone else but himself. I'm not saying everyone should go out and start their own cam show but I definitely think there are worse things he could be doing for cash.

Hal finds out and angrily confronts him. Frankly, I don't know why he's so angry. He was fine when he knew Chic was (presumably) a male prostitute. If he didn't know that, then Hal needs some serious examination because Chic basically spelled that out for him earlier. So he wasn't pissed about that but this, this is the final straw? Finding out he does cam shows? Interesting.

So if this wasn't bad enough, after a particularly nasty blow-up with Alice, Hal storms off to go spend the rest of the festive Pickens Day celebrations by himself. Mrs. Blossom, who witnessed their little fight, seeks out Hal to offer him company for the evening. This scene ends with a shot of Hal smiling up at her.

Oh, ok. So, if your son is a sex worker, that's disgusting and immoral and he needs to be kicked out of the house immediately. But if you're propositioned by the new Riverdale tramp, then that's something you should definitely pursue?

What the hell, Hal? What the hell?

7. Betty Cooper needs help.

This could have been its own article. Believe me, I considered doing just that. But I decided I might as well include it here because it certainly was one of the biggest indicators of this week's episode that the writers need to just give up and stop trying to make Riverdale work.

Betty finds out about Chic's webcam business. And guess what? She wants in.

Oh. My. God.

Time after time after time, Betty has proved herself to be reckless and dangerous to her own safety, but no one seems to care enough to do anything about it.

She tried to hurt Chuck Clayton in a hot tub? Oh, that's just dark-Betty. Let's leave her alone.

She did a pole-dance/strip-tease in a crowded bar with her own mother present in the crowd? Eh, let's never talk about that again.

She offered up Nick St. Clair to the Black Hood, knowing fully well this would mean he'd be murdered? That's just Betty being Betty.

Now, she's eager to join Chic in his little cam career, and I think that just might be the most disgusting thing Riverdale has ever come up with. How old is Betty supposed to be? 16? 17? And the writers decided it would be O.K. to promote underage teenage girls stripping on camera for money?

I get it, okay? Betty has some sort of "dark" part to her that compels her to act like this. But maybe, instead of sending her spiraling further and further into this disgusting realm of self-sabotaging behavior, we should actually try and get Betty the help she needs.

Let's face it: she needs serious help.

It wasn't charming to watch this young girl turn psychotic and don a wig to act out some sadistic alter-ego. It wasn't funny to watch her strip down to her panties and dance on stage in front of a room full of gang members. And it certainly won't be endearing to witness her flaunt herself to an audience of sick perverts who tune in to watch a teenager strip on camera.

I feel dirty. I feel so, so dirty after that episode.

Riverdale has always tried to be dark and edgy, and it has always failed. The series has been, up until this point, laughable. But now the writers have gone too far. It's no longer funny. It's disgusting.

And for that reason, and all others mentioned here, I think the show just needs to stop once and for all.

(ALSO, why were there leaves all over the ground? It's supposed to be after Christmas. Get your seasons right, Riverdale, come on.)