12 Alternative Christmas Films Your Family May Judge You For Picking

You know the routine by now. The turkey has been absolutely eviscerated, at least one member of the Christmas party has undone a button on their waistline for a bit of breathing space, and now comes the all-important choice of picking what film to watch before the house slips into a communal food coma. There’s a number of safe options of course; perhaps the routine visit to the McCallister house to see young Kevin fend off two idiot thieves in Home Alone? Maybe making it through to see Clarence get his wings and learn that It’s A Wonderful Life, after all? It’s tradition, I guess.

But do these have to be the go-to choices? Can’t you mix things up a bit this year and educate the family with movies that they’ve never aligned with December 25, but deserve just enough attention over the holidays as Miracle on 34th Street, or A Christmas Story? They might be outside entries but they’re just as enjoyable, and if it doesn’t work out, well then those relatives you only see once a year get a good reminder as to why it should stay that way. Here’s a list that we’ve checked twice, that could be deemed either naughty, or nice.

1. In Bruges (2008)

It might be hard to recall, but among the droplets of dark humour and immense expletive-laced exchanges, there’s a Christmas film to be had in Martin McDonagh’s map-stamping debut, In Bruges. A buddy movie like no other, Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell play hitmen in hiding among "all the old buildings and that," when a job goes south and they’re forced to flee to the titular town.

Besides being absolutely hilarious and a great start for McDonagh as a director, it’s also a bitter but hugely amusing buddy film crackling with comedy from its leading men. Gleeson is the guardian to Farrell’s tearaway trigger man and some of In Bruges' finest moments are just these two sat arguing with one another as all the best pairings do. Behind all that, though, is a film about reflection and the effort to redeem one’s self, a traditional Christmas trait that In Bruges tackles perfectly, even if that includes Colin Farrell getting chased by overweight tourists.

2. Hook (1991)

Something a bit lighter and for all the family this time. Should you want to add a little magic to the evening, you’ll find lots of it in Spielberg’s classic Peter Pan sequel, Hook, starring the late Robin Williams and the unrecognisable Dustin Hoffman. Though it doesn’t link too strongly to the festivities, Peter Panning’s heroic rescue mission takes three days for him to find his inner child hero and save his kids in Neverland, which is the equivalent of about one Christmas night for us. Bare minimum for a decent Pan.

It might not be one of Spielberg’s strongest entries in his family film line-up, but it’s certainly a fun one. Pirates, swordfights, and a dinner party that will most likely top the one you’ve had hours before, these all add to the real joy that culminates in seeing Robin Williams step into the tights and leafy get-up as Pan the man, making for an adventure that never gets old. Bangerang!

3. The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

It really isn’t Christmas without writer/director Shane Black getting a mention, and if folks coming home for the holidays don’t know the name, then give them the gift of education. The Long Kiss Goodnight is one of Black’s more overlooked entries and a bad-mouthed action movie before its time. Geena Davis takes point as the amnesiac model housewife who begins to recall her former life as a lethal super assassin, with the help of Samuel L. Jackson’s private detective. As it all comes flooding back, so do murderous bad guys armed to the teeth, which Davis’ action hero disposes with drastic and deadly efficiency.

Born before Bourne, this is definitely a Black number through and through. A razor-sharp script, awesome dialogue, and enough F-bombs to level a small city block (mostly from Samuel L. in his prime), this might not be the safest film suggestion for Christmas afternoon viewing but the fun level is off the charts.

4. Batman Returns (1992)

If you’re looking for a bright, festive, and fun-filled hour or so to kill whilst the family winds down, chances are that the darkest chapter of Tim Burton’s reign over The Caped Crusader might not be the way to go. Nevertheless, the holiday-set adventure that is Batman Returns still makes for a great watch, even with the occasional creepy elements that run through it.

It’s got everything a film needs for the holiday season — showing goodwill to all men, including vengeful sewer-dwelling orphans that have penguin armies at their disposal. There’s also a Christmas miracle that sees Selina Kyle get a second chance at life thanks to a swarm of stray alley cats in a sequence that still haunts me to my very core. Seeing her make a comeback as a lethal leather-clad femme fatale is really what Christmas is all about, right?

5. Lethal Weapon (1987)

The world might well be up in arms over settling on the choice of whether Die Hard is actually a Christmas film, but what’s even more enraging is that Riggs and Murtaugh’s debut don’t even get a look in. Another gem from the brain of Shane Black, Lethal Weapon is a cornerstone of '80s action cinema and more importantly it’s one that sees two mismatched cops bring down a heroin operation all in time for the Christmas dinner to be served.

To begin with, Danny Glover’s crotchety road-to-retirement detective and Mel Gibson’s short-fused Vietnam vet aren’t even close enough to sort a Secret Santa, let alone be partners. Of course, as we all know, more time spent together leads to them becoming the best pairing since turkey and stuffing, which makes for a great watch for all the family. Also, if worse comes to worst, you can always re-enact the fight between Gibson and crazy Gary Busey out on the lawn. There’s one for the photo album.

6. The Hunt (2012)

Easily one of the most intense entries from the filmic pile but an incredible watch, all the same. Mads Mikkelsen stars in this Danish drama about a primary school teacher who is accused of sexually abusing one of his students. Once word gets out around the town, his life begins to spiral out of control as he’s ostracised from the community and his pleas for innocence go completely unheard.

Of course, it’s not the cheeriest subject matter to sit through over the holidays, but the enthralling performance from Mikkelsen is undeniably worth your time. A gripping film overall, the story comes to a dramatic close on Christmas Eve and shows why Mikkelsen has earned such credibility with turnouts such as this. Even if it gets voted out of the viewing list, give it some time when you can.

7. Enemy of the State (1998)

He might be trying to make a dent in Christmas this year with Netflix film, Bright, but let’s not forget the time he had the holiday season ruined by shady NSA agents in Enemy of the State. Tony Scott’s thriller sees Will Smith go from top-notch attorney to clueless fugitive with Gene Hackman begrudgingly lending a helping hand as Jon Voight and his team of keyboard commandos try to track him down.

Even almost twenty years on, Scott’s film hasn’t lost its charm or relevance, focusing on the war for information that’s only gotten stronger. Smith took his foot off the comedic pedal for this gig and slowly started to shift into more serious roles thereafter. As Christmas-based blockbusters go, it’s certainly not a film worth skipping over.

8. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

Some would reconsider putting this on the list of good Bond films (the lunatics), let alone good Christmas movies. Still, George Lazenby’s single outing as MI6’s lethal weapon is a festive throwdown that has its perks and is a break from the usual choice of Connery or Craig as go-to Bond movies.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service sees James take Blofeld on as he brainwashes a small band of sleeper agents through hypnosis, and sends them off on their merry way to dish out biological warfare agents. Needless to say, 007 does everything he can to ensure that Christmas isn’t cancelled and the world powers aren't held ransom by this shiny-headed madman (Telly Savalas, this time around). Not only does it make for both an unconventional Bond and festive film choice, it also has what is still the greatest ending to a 007 entry ever. Cue Louis Armstrong…

9. Rare Exports (2010)

Want kids to retain their innocence and believe in Santa for as long as possible? Why not completely skew their perception of the jolly, old, fat man and show them Finnish horror movie, Rare Exports: A Christmas Story. The only risk you have is that they’re less likely to stay up and wait to see him come down the chimney and instead end up barricading the fireplace shut in fear of what might come down.

Imagine The Thing but with a very old man with bushy white beard being dug up rather than a shape-shifting alien and you’re on the right track for what Rare Exports has stored away. Giving a very different take on Santa Claus than the one you’re used to, this is unlike your festive family film and all the more entertaining because of it. Sit back and enjoy as a father and son fight to survive against a grouchy and bloodthirsty St. Nick that plans to be rid of them by New Year. Mad but really original stuff.

10. Black Christmas (1974)

Filthy Billy! Nothing brings the family together like watching a bunch of college girls shriek in terror in what is one of horror’s oddest whodunits. Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder have the antithesis of a silent night as they’re stalked by an unforeseen foe in their sorority house. It’s got some truly unnerving moments littered throughout and unlike most slasher flicks of the time, leaves not just an open ending like its competition, but the future of both the final girl and her attacker’s future unknown.

As divisive now as it was back in the '70s, families might either question why you suggested this as a form of entertainment both either in or out of the holiday season, or be as transfixed on this staple of horror days gone by, up until the final phone call. Either way, it’s certainly a Christmas film, no matter how much of a split it might drive down the audience.

11. First Blood (1982)

Sometime before it was decided to oil up John Rambo and have him fight the war overseas all on his own, he was trying to quietly pay his respects to a friend in their hometown when he gets hassled by local law enforcement. Rather than take a steady one for the holidays, instead they soon realised that they’d crossed the wrong man and were given a war they wouldn’t believe. Christmas really is just full of surprises, isn’t it?

Rather than give the gesture of a simple lump of coal, John J. Rambo dispatches his enemies one by one like a cross between Chuck Norris and Jason Voorhees. Though the festivities aren’t as prominent in this entry, this definitely took place near the end of the year what with the Christmas decorations and a rather shoddy-looking tree. Of course, as we all know, it’s not the thought that counts but more importantly, who drew first blood.

12. Die Hard (1988)

If it’s been said once, it’s been said a thousand times. John McClane’s first tussle with a band of armed mercenaries is, without a doubt, a Christmas film through and through. Certain family members might turn their nose up at the offensive language and ridiculously large body count, but that vest-wearing legend is the gift that keeps on giving. Ho-Ho-Ho!

There’s something for everyone in the classic '80s action flick; from the wise cracks of Bruce Willis and his bitter perspective in the hellish scenario he’s in, to the debut film performance of Alan Rickman as the bad guy you love to hate, Hans Gruber. When the party games are done and dusted and everyone’s winding down, seeing a man trapped in air vent talking to himself still makes for a quality Christmas. Yipee-Ki-Yay.