Lies We Tell Ourselves

"Cora, did you finish your paper for AP English?" Jade asked from her side of the room. Jade Holland. My roommate for this semester, and also one of my best friends. When I first met Jade this year, I assumed she was a really... particular about her friends—well a snob. However, as I began to get to know Jade more and more over time, I learned that she just has no tolerance for idiots. We share that quality.

"Cora! Hello!" Snapping back to reality as Jade hurled one of her teal blue pillows at my head. Looking up from my phone, I groaned and flopped back onto the comfortableness of my twin bed. I knew I should've worked on it instead of staying on Tumblr eating chocolate last night. Maybe this is why I've been gaining so much weight.

"No, of course I didn't. Because, I am a dimwit." Jade rolls her eyes and nods her head, I watch as she nibbles on a Twix bar and stares at her phone. Jade's orange hair falls into her eyes a bit underneath the fabric of her grey beanie.

"Better get to work then, you only have a few hours left before class." Throwing my arm over my face I let out a loud internal groan again and sighed dramatically. There is no use in complaining about this now, well actually, there is a lot of use in complaining now. It will make me feel better about my life choices.

"Ugh, alright. I'm going down to the study cafe. I'll be back in a few hours." I threw the strap of my laptop bag over my shoulder and grabbed a can of diet Mountain Dew from our dorm room fridge. This ought to keep me awake for a while. I gave an uneasy smile over at Jade, who was happily reading Shakespeare while also munching on an apple. Jade's quite a strange duck. Her green eyes locked with mine for a moment, before she grinned and sent a thumbs up sign my way.

"Good luck!" Jade called as I walked out of my dorm room.

*Louis' POV*

"Louis, look at this one! It's my favorite!" Liam cackled and turned his computer towards me, I squinted as I eyed over the bright screen in the dark lighting of the tour bus. It was a picture of my face, photoshopped onto Kim Kardashian's body. Rolling my eyes I glared at Liam as he laughed.

"Seriously Liam? I was trying to take a fucking nap—" I grumbled as Liam jutted out his bottom lip into a playful pout. And I'm considered the immature one. Pulling off my blanket I got up from the bed and stretched a bit, sighing softly as Liam began to laugh more at something on the internet. Maybe this is why the fans don't want us to go on Tumblr. Glancing over, I watched as Harry was sitting in his usual spot playing on his phone, and Niall, well, Niall was watching his golf game.

"Boys, I need to talk to you for a bit." I looked up as Richard, our promotion manager walked onto the tour bus. Something must be up, or Richard would have just sent his assistant. Harry looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow. Richard himself only comes in before interviews to tell us what questions they are going to ask. Or the fans are going crazy about Larry. Niall let out a dramatic groan and turned off the boring golf game, looking up at Richard, who looked quite exhausted to be honest. Although, to be fair, we were all exhausted. Usually after a show we all go about our thing and chill out for a bit.

"Obviously we know that the fans—they believe wholeheartedly that there is a relationship between Louis and Harry here," Richard speaks slowly and hesitantly, I glance over at Harry, our eyes lock for a moment before I decide to glance down at the ground. "And with your new album coming out this month, we really need to put a stop to all of that nonsense." A smile creeps onto Richard's face as he pulls something out of his coat pocket. Richard hums softly, handing me a slip of paper and chuckling.

"Louis, since Harry here does not have a current girlfriend, we'll need you to tweet this out tonight." A soft sigh leaves my lips as I unfold the sheet of paper, my eyes widening as I read over the text.

"Are you fucking serious? T-The fans will go insane—" I stutter out, biting down on my bottom lip. Richard waves his hand and shakes his head as he cuts me off. My head looks over to Harry, his eyes are wide and his mouth dropped open in shock. The fans have done nothing but support Larry... why does our management make us do these things? Liam stands up and I notice that his fists are clenched tightly at his sides.

"Tweet it tonight Louis, unless you want your fifth album to disappear." Richard sends a cold glare over at Liam, who most likely would've hit Richard just for being such a dick. How could our management do this to us? There has to be a way out of this. Richard nods his head and a grin falls upon his lips and it stretches his wrinkly skin. He chuckles once before turning and walking out of the tour bus.

"Don't worry Louis, we'll figure this out." Liam shakes his head and places a hand on my shoulder. I fidget nervously with my fingers and glance up at Harry. His jaw is clenched and his green eyes are staring down at his phone. An angry huff leaves his lips as he stands from his chair, walking out the tour bus door without another word. I start to stand to go and follow him however, Niall shakes his head, pulling on his sweatshirt as he stands.

"I'll go talk to him Lou, don't worry. We won't let them do this to you." Niall's thick accent fills the tense air around us. Nodding my head, I chew my lip as Niall walks out the door and Liam sits down next to me. How can they manipulate us like this?

"Louis, you know that if you don't do it we'll stick by you right? We'll go to all the papers, the fans will stop them—" Liam starts and I dig my fingernails into my palm. Tears blur my vision as I stand up and throw a punch at the wall of the tour bus as hard as I possibly can.

"Liam we can't do anything! We signed a contract—Harry and I, when we lost The X Factor, we agreed that Modest would make all decisions involving Larry. Neither of us thought anything of it, it was so stupid." Tears slip down my cheeks and I can feel my face getting hot with shame. It's just a tweet Louis, it means nothing. Don't lie to yourself Louis, you know it means everything. A choked sob leaves my lips as Liam slowly wraps his arms around me and pulls my body close to his warm embrace.

Liam lets me stay like that for what feels like a long time, the tears have fully stopped now, thank god. Not a single word was exchanged between us the whole time. That's the best part about Liam, you could annoy him to no end, but he'll still let you cry on his shoulder any time you need it. I pull away from his arms and his hands rub my back soothingly. I can feel Liam's dark brown eyes staring me down, waiting to see if I break.

"You don't have to do it Louis. It means so much to you, and Harry... it's not right of them to even ask you." Liam sighs softly, running a hand through his hair. I look up at Liam, biting down on my bottom lip and wiping away the tears. Liam's eyes are rimmed with red and for the first time in a while, it looks like he's really scared. This is all on me, I have to take care of it. I can't take my boys down with me.

"Liam it's alright yeah? It's just a stupid tweet. I'll take care of it." My voice cracks but Liam doesn't seem to notice. I hear a soft sigh of relief leave his lips and I give the best smile I can in his direction. I hope that Harry is alright, him and Niall have been gone for a while now. Liam's lips crinkle into a smile back. I climb back into my bunk quietly. Don't start crying again now Louis.

"Good man, after all we've been through I wouldn't want to lose it all over a stupid bromance the fans made up." Liam laughs and pats my shoulder. I have to grip my comforter so that I don't scream. He's right Louis, we would loose it all. I nod my head a bit, everything feels so numb at this point. Pushing a nervous laugh I bite my lip, it doesn't even feel like it's me speaking anymore. I wave my phone and pull the curtain shut. It's not until I hear Liam walk out of the tour bus do I turn over and scream as loud as I can into my pillow. I feel the hot tears against my cheeks again, pulling the comforter up and over my head I sniffle and open up my phone. I can't do this. They can't make me. Louis stop thinking of only yourself you know exactly that they can, in fact, make you do this. I sigh quietly and open up twitter, creating a new tweet as I begin to type.

"I just want to be happy..." No.

"Would you stick by me if you knew the truth?" No.

"Is it worth it?" No.

"I'm lost in the dark." No.

"It is what it is." No.

"@Harry_Styles: I think I love you." Hell no.

It took about an hour, but I've finally decided the right tweet that I feel is best for everyone. No going back now, I thought bitterly to myself as I hit the tweet button. It was best for everyone.

"Hows this, Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. I'm happy why can't you accept that?" Lies.

A bitter laugh leaves my lips as I look at the word happy in the tweet. Taking a deep breath as my phone began to vibrate with notifications from Twitter. Don't even read them Louis, they'll only make you more upset. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, and turned my phone completely off. No chance I'm going to sleep now it's nearly sunrise, I'm going to go for a smoke. Damn. I was actually doing really well with not smoking too. I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone carelessly into my bunk. I could honestly not give two shits where that thing goes right now.

Pulling on my leather jacket, I bit my lip and pulled the box of cigarettes out of my coat pocket. Maybe I should take my phone with me? In case something is up with Niall and Harry? A cold chuckle leaves my mouth as I shake my head and pull a cigarette from the small box. Why should I care? I'm not his girlfriend. Grabbing Liam's lighter off of the counter I shake my head and walk out the tour bus door.