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Everybody says something stupid at one point. Unfortunately for these people, their stupid quotes are forever on public record. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 dumb things said by celebrities.
For this list, we’re taking a look at the dumbest, most offensive, and most insane things to come out of the mouths of famous individuals. However, we’ve excluded politicians, as they deserve a list of their own some day. We’ve also left out incredibly racist quotes like Mel Gibson’s anti-Jewish tirade.
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#10: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields is an outspoken anti-smoking activist and, to be fair, her heart is probably in the right place. After all, this nasty habit can lead to premature aging, cancer, and death. But can we really take advice from a woman who seemingly doesn’t understand that when you die you cease to live at all anymore? It goes to show that just because you’re a celebrity doesn’t mean you should take up a cause. Leave it to people with some comprehension of how life and death function.
#9: “I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.” Kanye West
Oh Kanye. Sweet, beautiful, Kanye. You’ve said some of the most hilariously asinine things in the history of mankind and we love/hate you for it. However, among all your classic anecdotes, it’s hard to top your discovery of the Gucci Store. Surrounded by designer handbags, jewelry, and sunglass, you must have been a kid in Willy Wonka’s factory. Seeing how this visit was such a transcendent experience, maybe you should consider permanently relocating to a Gucci Store. Just put 100 dollars in the douchebag jar before you leave.
#8: “I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.” Alicia Silverstone
Clueless was a funny, light-hearted teen comedy that occasionally managed to say something meaningful about youth. ‘Nuff said. Alicia Silverstone simply couldn’t find the right words to describe Clueless, however, amounting to her senselessly rambling about how lightness and deepness are one and the same. At least, that’s what we think she was trying to get across. This comment was so baffling that Silverstone won the Plain English Campaign’s dubious Foot in Mouth Award. That’s what you get for trying to sound deep when you have nothing deep to say. As if.
#7: “Whale Shark” Diatribe, Tara Reid
Tara Reid often gets categorized as a ditzy blonde and, frankly, it’s hard to argue against the stereotype after watching her in this episode of Shark After Dark. In an attempt to sound intelligent, Reid “learned a little education on sharks” and found out about the whale shark species. And, to her surprise, the whale shark is not the product of a whale and shark mating. It’s hard to find the right words to describe this rant as Reid digs herself deeper and deeper into stupidity. Josh Wolf’s expression pretty much says it all, though.
#6: Everything He’s Ever Said on Twitter, Jaden Smith
Twitter has become a cesspool for people to make brainless remarks and no celebrity has offered a more faux-philosophical collection of tweets than Jaden Smith. Whether he’s discussing how school is brainwashing the youth or waxing wise about the intelligence of newborn babies, you can always count on Jaden to write something foolish in 140 characters or less. It is possible that he’s just joking around with his followers. The more likely explanation, however, is that he’s another naïve kid who wants to be enlightened, but just comes off as pretentious.
#5: “I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong in hitting a woman.” Sean Connery
It’s no wonder James Bond can’t hold onto a romantic partner for more than one movie. Because apparently, after getting the girl, he physically abuses her. In a 1965 Playboy interview, Sean Connery claimed that hitting a woman is no biggie, though he did qualify the statement by saying that he doesn’t recommend you do it the same way that you hit a man. And since the women’s liberation movement of the late-60s, his declaration became even more shocking. Connery was given a chance to apologize for his remarks in an interview with Barbra Walters over two decades later; however, the so-called ladies’ man firmly stood by his words.
#4: “Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’” Jessica Simpson
It’s clear that you’ve said something unbelievably dim-witted when Nick Lachey is rolling his eyes at your comments. In the premiere episode of Newlyweds, Jessica Simpson is unable to tell if she’s eating tuna or chicken based on the brand, “Chicken of the Sea.” Her new husband shakes his head in disapproval, likely pondering what he’s gotten himself into. This treasured moment provides a solid explanation for why these two broke up and why Jessica should really think before she speaks.
#3: “Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” Justin Bieber
Justin, we know that you view yourself as God’s gift to the world. But could you please leave the death of a holocaust victim out of your ego trip? If Anne Frank were still alive today, we’d all like to think she’d be using her influence to tear down the walls of intolerance, not promoting a spoiled pop star. It’s hard to decide what’s more ridiculous: that Justin described Anne Frank as a potential Belieber or as simply “a great girl.” That’s like saying Hitler was just a mean guy.
#2: “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.” Charlie Sheen
You know what, this one actually might not be all that dumb. Would anyone really be surprised if it turned out Charlie Sheen was a rocking Martian who was sent to earth to destroy the fabric of human decency? It makes perfect sense. What doesn’t make any sense are Sheen’s accusations that he’s underpaid, an innocent victim, and #winning. Sorry, Charlie, but you’re not getting any sympathy here. Get back in your spaceship, which we assume is fueled by beer or something, and return to your home planet.
Before we groan at our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- “You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.” Tom Cruise
- “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.” Gwyneth Paltrow
- “I spoke to a girl today who had cancer, and we were talking about how this is such a hard thing for her, but it taught her a big lesson on who her friends are and so much about life. She’s 18. And I was like, that's how I feel.” Kim Kardashian
- “First my mother was Spanish. Then she became a Jehovah’s Witness.” Geri Halliwell
- “All of a sudden, you’re, like, the bin Laden of America. Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through.” R. Kelly
#1: “Everything bad that can happen to a person has happened to me.” Paris Hilton
Yes, Paris, you must really know what true suffering is. After all, you spent like a microsecond in prison and occasionally get mocked by talk show hosts. Sure you have countless millions, zero responsibility, and security for life, but nothing can compensate for what you’ve endured. Forget all those silly people living with handicaps and diseases. You’re the true saint! Seriously, though, this is possibly the dumbest thing ever uttered by anyone, celebrity or not. But what do you expect from somebody who doesn’t even know that London is in England?
Do you agree with our list? Which celebrity quotes made you facepalm? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.