Top 25 Reasons Why I'm an Old Geek

Variations on a Theme: Top 25 Reasons Why I'm a Geek (okay, an old geek but still; please feel free to play along and share your own lists):

1. 'Star Wars'

Star Wars is just about the greatest thing ever. When I was 13 and saw what’s now A New Hope for the first time, I couldn’t leave my seat for five minutes after the credits. The ongoing saga has since become my bible. Only sex would come before. No pun intended.

2. 'Famous Monsters'

Famous Monsters is the single greatest magazine ever published. Still.

3. 'Tales from the Crypt' and 'Weird Tales'

I would sooner read old issues of Tales from the Crypt and Weird Tales than eat.

4. 'Planet of the Apes'

I would so live on a Planet of the Apes, as lately I trust them more than us. I'm firmly on Team Caesar.

5. The Single Greatest Crime in Oscar History to Now:

Andy Serkis has never been nominated. Second greatest is E.T. beating Blade Runner for special effects, tied with Star Wars losing Best Pic of 1977 to Annie Hall.

6. I couldn't sleep for days when Larry Zybysko turned heel on Bruno Sammartino.

Old WWWF, for those of you who don’t get the reference.

7. 'Mr. Robot'

Mr. Robot is the one existing television show for which I would love to write.

8. 'The Six Million Dollar Man' and 'The Bionic Woman'

The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman will always rock.

9. Spoken Word and Horror Albums

I actually listen to spoken word old horror albums and radio shows in my spare time.

10. 'Daredevil' #181

Daredevil #181 is the single greatest comic book issue created by a human.

11. 'Heavy Metal'

The first Heavy Metal movie is better than drugs.

12. Shirley Jackson’s 'The Haunting of Hill House'

Nearly 45 years later, I’m still telling the story of how I was able to write a book report on Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House for junior high school. I was failing, in danger of being left back, and my dad manipulated a deal with my teacher if I completed a report on a book I “liked,” as long as the work was “exceptional,” she’d pass me.

She did.

13. I’m still upset at the time my then Rabbi confused Mr. Spock, the Vulcan, with Dr. Spock, the baby doctor.

Long story. Nearly traumatized me as a kid.

14. I firmly believe Stephen King deserves a Pulitzer for Lifetime Achievement.

Is there a Pulitzer given for Lifetime Achievement? I have no clue, and I’m too lazy at the moment to look it up.

15. 'Halloween,' 'Dawn of the Dead,' and 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

Halloween, Dawn of the Dead, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre—the originals comprise some of cinema’s greatest moments.

16. 'The Exorcist'

The Exorcist is the most spiritual film ever made.

17. 'Hulk v Superman'

I still want to see a Hulk v Superman film.

18. Eminem’s 'Stan'

Eminem’s Stan is one of the greatest songs ever written.

19. 'Rocky'

I’m a writer and television producer. I wake up at 2 AM every morning. I usually have Rocky films on my television as I’m working during those insane hours.

20. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Bram Stoker’s Dracula are the two greatest novels ever written.

Frank Herbert’s Dune rounds out the top three.

21. When I like a book, I tend to talk about it for weeks.

When I like a book, I tend to talk about it for weeks. When I like a film, I tend to talk about it for weeks. When I like a television program...

22. 'Lestat'

Lestat is one of literature’s great creations.

23. I learn more from reading science fiction novels and comic books than I do by watching the television news.

That said, I’m addicted to politics, but I believe many of the answers as to what ails us are found in our science fiction.

24. Billy Jack

I would totally vote for Billy Jack as President, and—

25. Howard Stern

Many moons ago, I waited on line at the Chinese Theater, with friends, for 25 and a half hours for The Phantom Menace (ugh) and over 13 hours on line to meet Howard Stern at a Miss America book signing in Westwood.

All sad but true. And you?