What Meds Should the Suicide Squad Be On?

The August 2016 release of Suicide Squad brought a new brand of insanity that has taken the world by storm and set the internet ablaze. The Joker wouldn’t have it any other way. Jared Leto has taken over the role as the iconic clown prince of crime, using his method acting to take things to a whole new level. According to director David Ayer and co-star Will Smith, Leto never came out of character between takes. He even went as far as giving twisted gifts to his cast mates like a dead rat to Margot Robbie (Harley Quinn) and real bullets to Will Smith (Deadshot). In fact, the filming of Suicide Squad was so intense that David Ayer recruited an on-set therapist to help the cast keep their sanity during the production. Which had us thinking: what kind of drugs should the Suicide Squad be on?

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn—Adderall

Being thrown into a vat of chemicals by the Joker will give anyone a good case of ADHD. Not to mention spending time with the Joker and being groomed into becoming the self-proclaimed “Daddy’s Little Monster.” Harley Quinn, played by Margot Robbie, might be a fan favorite, but she’s never been the sharpest batarang in the utility belt. In many cases she’s her own worst enemy. Nothing will ever cure her ADHD, but some Adderall might help curb it enough to make her a better villain. She was only forced to join the Suicide Squad in the first place because she was dumb enough to get caught. Adderall could help her actually follow through with some of her villainous schemes instead of getting distracted by something shiny.

Jared Leto as Joker—Conerta

Let’s be honest here, you could prescribe an entire pharmacy of meds to this guy and it wouldn’t probably do a thing. Joker, played by Jared Leto, is insanity personified, and no matter how many meds you give him it won’t do a thing. He might pretend that the meds are working to lull you into letting your guard down so he can find the chance to slit your throat. But Concerta might help subdue his manic personality and is commonly used as a part of other behavioral therapies. But honestly, the only prescription that could cure the Joker of what ails him would probably be a lead bullet to the head.

Will Smith as Deadshot—Ambien

Being a mercenary is a good way to make a living. But even the most cold-hearted mercenary is bound to suffer from sleepless nights thanks to PTSD. It wouldn’t be too surprising if Deadshot is afflicted with insomnia. To be an effective member of the Suicide Squad, he’ll need to get some sleep. Ambien is the ticket to ensuring that Deadshot continues to be the best killer he can be, operating at peak capacity.

Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang—Valium

Captain Boomerang is one of the dumber super villains ever introduced into the DC universe. He’s an assassin who fights by throwing boomerangs. There’s a reason why Joker and Harley Quinn never invited him to join their gang. In fact, if given a choice, none of the other villains would ever willingly choose to work with a guy named Captain Boomerang. It’s not hard to imagine the constant verbal abuse he must have suffered from his teammates. It wouldn’t be surprising for the poor guy to develop an anxiety disorder under the constant stress of being ruthlessly mocked by the better villains. He’d need an extra dose of Valium to cope with that.

Jay Hernandez as El Diablo—Soma

Having the power to emit flames all of the time sounds pretty awesome on a paper. But honestly, that’s gotta hurt. There’s only so many times you can have molten fire eject from your palms before you get burnt. We can only imagine the constant pain poor El Diablo must be subjecting himself to each time he has to use his power. He’s gonna need to be taking Soma on a constant basis to handle the physical trauma of being a human flamethrower capable of emitting a constant stream of painful looking fireworks.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc—Oxycontin

Killer Croc is basically a human crocodile man who lives a miserable, scaley existence thanks to a rare disease which is like a worse form of Epidermolytic hyperkeratosis. This makes his skin hard and scaly, leaving him in a constant state of horrible, debilitating pain. Not to mention the psychological torment of looking like an awful crocodile sideshow freak. He mainly deals with this trauma by eating people, but for the physical pain Oxycontin might be the best thing to help deal with his awful physical ailment. At least being a crocodile man’s imbued him with super strength. Who needs to think of solution when you can just throw something heavy at all of your problems.

Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flag—Zoloft

The leader of the Suicide Squad, Rick Flag, has the unfortunate distinction of being the leader of this motley crew of misfits, vandals, and supervillains. Sure, all of the villains have been fitted with micro bombs in their heads to ensure that they follow orders, but even that kind of leverage doesn’t make the Suicide Squad easy to work with. Rick Flag is going to be under tremendous pressure and constant aggravation dealing with all of the high maintenance personality types. He’s going to be in a constant state of depression, but the fate of the world lies in the balance so he’ll need to keep that depression in check with some Zoloft.

Cara Delevingne as Enchantress—Citalopram

June Moon was an Indiana Jones styled adventure seeker. But on one such expedition, she accidentally unleashed the Enchantress, a powerful sorceress spirit who now possess her body. It’s a classic case of multiple personality disorder and for that the best thing to prescribe the Enchantress is Citalopram. Her magic powers make her one of the more powerful members of the Suicide Squad, but given her instability she’s a huge liability as well. That’s why Citalopram will be the key to the team’s success to ensure that the June Moon persona remains dominate.

Karen Fukuhara as Katana—Ritalin

One of the few heroic members of the Suicide Squad, Katana actually volunteered for the mission and doesn’t have one of the micro bombs implanted into her head. She is Rick Flag’s personal body guard and the muscle designed to keep everyone in line. That’s why it’d probably be best for her to be taking some Ritalin. Not like she’s afflicted with ADD, but she’ll need to keep her mind on a razor focus to keep all of these villains in line and on task.

Adam Beach as Slipknot—Opana

Slipknot is a master assassin who uses ropes to murder his targets. Killing people with ropes is gonna cause a lot of strain on his hands. Murdering isn’t easy, especially if you're strangling your target. Some Bengay might help for his palms, but he’ll need lots of Opana as a painkiller to alleviate the strain of constantly using ropes to strangle his foes.

Origin of the Suicide Squad

We know the Avengers. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers can kicking ass is a regular sight in the cinema now. Even the DC counterpart, Justice League, is pretty well known due to the fame, or perhaps infamy, of Batman V Superman and the superheroes it depicts. But some rightfully are scratching their heads wondering, “Who the hell are the Suicide Squad? And why do they have that horrible name?” They are perhaps the most risqué superhero group out there, because they aren’t necessarily superheroes. This is the one superhero team made out of super villains, and that alone can tell you why they have become so popular over the past 20 years in the comic world. Everyone loves Joker and Harley Quinn, but the Suicide Squad has also played host to more obscure villains such as Captain Boomerang and Slipknot.

The Original Suicide Squad

Originally known as Squadron S, the Suicide Squad soon managed to earn its name in the most Game of Thrones fashion possible. By killing off many of the teams members without a second thought.

Their first appearance was in the popular comic line, The Brave and the Bold Vol. 1. In this storyline, members of the Suicide Squad were active in WWII in a campaign known as “The War That Time Forgot.” This is important, because the Suicide Squad, even more so than the Avengers, has its members switched and swapped so frequently that it’s difficult to show a definitive team. Therefore, the idea of the team could continue on throughout the years, headed up by the most popular villains and bringing more obscure antagonists to the forefront. The amount of craziness that was going on in the 1940s comic world resulted in the comic version of President Truman to issue an executive order to create Task Force X, a new Suicide Squad that led into its own comic line.

A master tactician called Rick Flagg headed up the team followed by, Karin Grace, Jess Bright, and Hugh Evans who were a medic, nuclear physicist, and astrophysicist, respectively. All members were lone survivors of tragedies which made them perfect to use as sacrifices when it came down to it. This theme stayed with the squad for the rest of their run. The members are inherently damaged goods making them far more interesting to typical comic readers than the moral perfection of the likes of Superman.

However, this original squad soon perished. Whether it was due to low sales or story purposes, Rick Flag was critically injured and the rest of the squad broke up with broken hearts and bones. Task Force X was shelved for many years to come.

That is until a government higher up, Amanda Waller, would find the files explaining the purpose of Suicide Squad. She decided it would be a good idea to bring the program back, but with a twist. This time, they would use convicts with super powers to carry out missions. The first makeup of the team included Bronze Tiger as security, the infamous assassin Deadshot, the behemoth Blockbuster, the magical Enchantress, and the eccentric Captain Boomerang. The villains are fitted with bracelets that would explode upon removal, disobedience, or straying from the leader of the missions.

This is where the name "Suicide Squad" took on a far more literal meaning. If the characters went off book, they could be expected to be blown sky high. In a quick move of writing genius, bad guys suddenly were completing heroic acts making the morality of what separates the villain from the hero ever murkier.

A comic called 52 launched in 2006 that held a story related to the team. In this story, Waller again assembles a team with new members that had to take on the enemy of Shazam, Black Adam. 52 marked the introduction of even more moral and political grey areas regarding the use of the Suicide Squad. Waller was now actively using the team for her own political ends. The initially fun idea was entering into a strange from of maturity wherein DC was actively exploring the use of interrogation black sites and torture.

Further Adventures

There were many other iterations of the squad in various comics and even a four-part volume. This covers a plethora of information about the team. Volume one focused on a number of missions that the team did for the United States government. The next volume brings us to the Squad eliminating bio-engineered army ants. They also investigate Kooey Kooey Kooey Island to convince the people there not to declare war on Earth. Volume three brings back Rick Flag from the original Task Force X, alive and well. Trapped on Skartarsis, the team is forced to fight a horde of very hungry dinosaurs.

Volume four shows more missions for the team who consist of some heavy hitters this time around. It is also the first and only squad to be introduced during the New 52 DC revamp. We see Deadshot, Harley Quinn, and King Shark inducted into the organization. Some of these missions include rescuing Harley Quinn, recovering a child who has a cure for a deadly virus, and taking on the Basilisk terrorist group throughout the series. Not only were they now going on seemingly bizarre and interesting missions that groups like the Justice League couldn’t go on, interpersonal relationships were developed between the team members. Including of course the fan favorite relationship between Harley Quinn and Joker.

The appeal therefore is not that they are just another team of super powered people trying to save the world, but that they actively do it for morally reprehensible reasons. Serious thematic questions such as whether doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still a morally good act are raised all the time between the panels of the comics. Despite how many times the team has to find an island full of angry dinosaurs or dove down a volcano to stop the world from imploding, the writing, which in the end is the most important aspect of comics, holds strong due to the inherently interesting premise.