Why I Never Read Books

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) was something I didn’t know I struggled with my whole life until I was a freshman in high school. Once I was diagnosed, it explained why I disliked and had a difficult time reading. Comprehending a story while reading, it was a skill I dreamt of having, yet I never connected it to having a disorder. Finally getting the treatment and medication I needed was the key to achieving this skill.

Freshman year of high school was the first year I went to school while under the influence of the proper ADD medication. This enabled me to focus on what I was reading while I was reading it. The first book I chose to read was The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. A rare occurrence happened during this attempt—I actually understood the story very well, and enjoyed it too. It was a sorrowful love story that really hit home for a lot of readers. Reading this book made me realize what type of stories I like, which is one that contains both love and sorrow. Since then, I haven’t accomplished reading any stories that I have fully and personally enjoyed. Every other book I’ve read since then has been one I was forced to read for a grade in English class. This is primarily the reason why I grew up disliking reading—because I struggled with reading in general, and I had to read stories I was uninterested in.

The Fault in Our Stars taught me a lot about acceptance. For example, towards the end of the story, Hazel finds out that Gus’ cancer came back and that he is not expected to live much longer. Hazel accepts the fact and is supportive through this process. This illustrated to me the importance of acceptance. Also a big factor in this story was obviously love. Gus and Hazel love each other despite their illnesses. They decide to look beyond each other's diseases and look into each other's hearts instead. This taught me that loving someone shouldn't be about the physicalities. That it should really be about the individual as a whole. In the book, Gus has a friend who is also battling cancer, Isaac. Isaac is about to undergo surgery and lose his eyesight altogether to save his life. Isaac’s character is very optimistic and outgoing. The reader can definitely see his fear for the future of going blind, however Isaac pushes through it and remains the person he was before his eyesight was taken away by cancer. This subtle character development struck me greatly in that he remained the person he was, even though something so important and defining was taken from him. This made me realize that nothing should be able to change the person you are deep down inside, even something as great as eyesight.

I’m older now and have matured since freshman year, however my experience with reading growing up has influenced my motivation to read to this day. I experienced such few readings that I actually enjoyed, so I find difficulty in staying attached to any book I attempt to read. However if I do find the motivation and interest to read a novel, I carefully choose my book based on the storyline itself. I am more interested in books that have realistic endings, rather than the typical “happy ending.” I also long to find a book that I can closely relate with. Such as a book where the character has shared similar difficulties with me that I have throughout my life. Reading articles or stories online in which the author of it is sharing their experiences that I have also gone through myself, is something I find a lot of enjoyment in. Although I haven't shared any of the same experiences as Hazel and Gus have, I somehow still found a connection between myself and the book, enough to make me want to read it.

Overall, I haven’t done much reading for self-pleasure. However, I have enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars. And it has shown me what type of stories please me.