'Descendants' Review

This could have been a good movie and I’m not joking. Unfortunately, Kenny Ortega came in and decided to make a High School Musical with Disney characters. A lot of the choices that he made for this film were questionable. It wasn’t supposed to be a musical at first, and it probably would have been better off remaining there. I’m also not entirely sure if he’s ever seen any of the Disney movies before.

We have four main characters that need to be discussed before going any further.

Mal is the daughter of Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. She is played by Dove Cameron and Maleficent is played by Kristin Chenoweth. Chenoweth is an odd choice to play the coldest villain that has ever graced a Disney movie. I don’t usually associate Maleficent with bubbly and show tunes. But, that’s how it goes. Mal is the leader of the group, which does make some sense as Maleficent is easily the evilest. Her entire story is trying to figure out where she wants to go in her life. Does she want to follow her mothers’ footsteps?

Evie is the daughter of the Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. She is played by Sofia Carson and her mother is played by Kathy Najimy. Granted it’s been a long time since I last saw Snow White but I don’t remember this strong desire to get a man and not being brainy. The Evil Queen is pretty damn smart, she managed to poison someone with an apple. Evie grows as a character, kind of. Mostly it’s learning that she’s an important person and she doesn’t need to rely on being pretty or focus on getting a man. That it’s okay to find things that she genuinely enjoys.

Carlos is the son of Cruella de Vil from One Hundred and One Dalmatians. He is played by Cameron Boyce and she is played by Wendy Raquel Robinson. This was a confusing dynamic. Carlos is pretty much there to get along with a dog. Because Cruella de Vil managed to convince Carlos that dogs are evil. Instead of teaching him that killing animals and making them into a fur coat is the best way to go about things. But he gives us an excuse to follow a dog, so whatever.

Jay is the son of Jafar from Aladdin. He is played by Booboo Stewart and his father is played by Maz Jobrani. So, the first problem is that Booboo Stewart is not at all Middle Eastern. The second problem is that Jafar is so badly bastardized. He seems like he’s more based off Aladdin. They’re a thieving team and Jafar has a store where he sells the stolen things. Jay’s whole story is finding a healthy way to release his nonsense.

There are a lot of problems with these characters.

These four main characters and their parents live on the Isle of the Lost. It's pretty much the villain ghetto. The heroes of the story live in the United States of Auradon; which adds another problem.

Out of everyone that could have been the King-President of the country, it's Beauty and the Beast. Not Aurora and Philip. Not Cinderella and Charming. Belle and the dude that threw hissy fits and probably broke a bunch of his former servants. I don't know why he was picked, it could have worked just as fine with anyone else. Ben is such a bland character with a streak of over-confident and self-absorbed.

The movie starts with Ben getting fitted for the coronation. I'm not sure why, because his dad was voted into his spot so one would assume that Ben would have to be voted in as well. Whatever, fine. Ben says that he has his first proclamation; he wants to start bringing Villain kids to Auradon. So that they can have happy and healthy lives on the mainland.

I understand picking Mal, Jay, and Evie. Their parents were pretty evil and messed with some major Princes and Princesses. But Carlos? His mom went after dogs. It sounds harsh but it's true. Carlos' backstory doesn't really fit in with everyone else.

Maleficent tells her daughter to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand. It's easier said than done because the wand is stuffed away in a museum. The only time it's going to be out and available for stealing is at Ben's coronation. The only way that Mal can get close enough to Ben to steal the wand as if she's his girlfriend.

This is a problem because Ben already has a girlfriend, Audrey. Audrey is Aurora's daughter and for good reason really doesn't like Mal. Despite there being a really good reason for her disliking Mal, she's portrayed as just a regular mean girl. She's the daughter of Prince Philip, a pretty massive badass that is ready to fight. But in this, she's just a petty girl that is high pitched and annoying. Mal also puts her boyfriend under a love spell and steals him.

This could have been a really good moment of Mal getting what she deserves. She did something fucked up, messed with someone's feelings, and should get criticized for it. Instead, he just assumes that she didn't think that things would happen organically. It was bad. This was a bad choice by the writers.

The entire ending was a bad choice for the writers. Because Mal never had to actually make a decision on if she was going to take the wand or not. The Fairy Godmother's daughter made that choice for her, grabbing it and breaking the barrier. Mal didn't have to. Mal was able to just work with what happened.

She ended up facing her mom when her mom showed up. I thought it was going to be action-packed. It was for about twenty seconds when Maleficent was chasing Jay around. Then there was a staring eye contest that Maleficent lost because Mal and her friends kept repeating something about being good beating the bad. Which is true, but there are some problems with it.

The scene before the coronation begins, it's a family fun day kind of gig. Which includes Aurora's mother (Audrey's grandmother) who is understandably a little bit pissed off about the whole 'Sleep for 100 years' thing. Chad (Cinderella's son) and a few other characters lash out at the villain kids and it's kind of messy. We're no longer rooting for the heroes. Or for the villains to do the right thing. We're rooting for the heroes to get what they deserve for being such jerks.

Music

Now, we'll talk about music. Originally this movie wasn't supposed to be a musical. Now, Evie and Mal are both excellent singers. Carlos and Jay are more like...I don't really know. They rap? Kind of. Occasionally. They do things and they're decent dancers so that's probably their primary reason for being there.

The best song is probably 'If Only' because it's the only song that seems to fit the person that's singing it and doesn't sound like a bad EDM remix (I'm talking about 'Rotten to the Core', which I won't talk about any further because it's just bad). 'If Only' is a romantic kind of ballad song done by Mal. It's fine.

'Evil Like Me' is a song mostly by Maleficent but featuring Mal. This is the moment that Kristin Chenoweth was born to shine during. It starts out as a touching song about a girl wanting to be like her mother but not being sure how to do that. Then Maleficent comes out and just hams it up. It was entertaining but didn't fit Maleficent, the villain.

'Did I Mention' is a song by Ben and it's when he's in a love potion induced haze and decides to ask Mal to the coronation with him. I didn't realize until half-way through the song that at my old job, this played a lot. It makes sense because it's a generic pop song that would play in a massive retail store.

Were the songs good? Not particularly and the movie didn't need them. The director only knows how to do musicals apparently, so that's why we ended up with these. Nothing of value was learned and nothing was particularly entertaining.

Plot

Was the plot good? It had potential which is the main reason that I stuck through it and will probably watch the sequel. If this was a movie aimed towards an older audience, it could have seriously tackled the neglect and abuse done by the villain parents. There were a few moments that I thought they actually would go into depth. But it was always things like 'Your mom didn't make cookies for you?'. I think they're abandoning the parents in the second movie.

Is it worth watching? Kind of. If you are really into the villains of Disney, then it's probably worth it. If you're looking for a really well put together story with engaging characters; this isn't it Chief.