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We're getting closer and closer to the month we've all been waiting for. On April 14th, HBO's hit show Game of Thrones will begin its final season, airing what have arguably become the six most anticipated episodes of television since the days of The Sopranos. And as longtime fans of the show know all too well—anything can happen. Anyone can die.
Well, probably not anyone. This is, after all, a show based on the series of books A Song of Ice and Fire by author George R. R. Martin. Whilst Martin has not yet written the ending of his epic fantasy saga, there are clear character arcs set out throughout his work that he will be sure to see through to the end. Martin is a fan of poetry, myths, and prophecies—and his novels have an extremely cyclical structure. Things that have happened in the past are likely to happen again, and clues to events in the future are peppered throughout earlier volumes. His plot devices are far from spontaneous, and so every death, every battle, every betrayal has a much deeper meaning. This isn't The Walking Dead where characters are killed off left, right, and center purely for dramatic effect!
With this in mind, I've scoured the internet to find the craziest, wildest, and most ridiculous endgame theories the Game of Thrones fandom has to offer. If any of these DO come true, I swear I'll give up writing, my job, and my cat—and exile myself to the Night's Watch.
1. Jaime Lannister is Azor Ahai.
I'll start off with the least weird and probably most feasible, though still highly unlikely theory of the bunch: Jaime Lannister is the prophesized hero, Azor Ahai. A reminder of the prophecy is as follows:
"There will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour, a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him."
This interesting theory has been gaining traction across the internet, beginning with this thread by Reddit user byrd82.
The theory goes as follows: The Valyrian language in the prophecy was mistranslated from aeksion (gold) and ondos (hand) to aeksio (lord) and onos (light). This means the real savior, the Prince that was Promised, will be our favorite golden-handed hero, Jaime Lannister. His forging of the hero's sword—Lightbringer—lines up with his redemption arc, starting with becoming the Kingslayer and ending with him killing his sister Cersei, thus also coinciding with the prophecy of the Valonqar. Sounds legit, right?
Why it's incorrect: George R. R. Martin has spent a lot of time setting up the dichotomy between Ice and Fire in the series, and the prophecy itself and all references to it are littered with words relating to these two elements. Azor Ahai, or the Prince that was Promised, absolutely has to be a member of the StarkxTargaryen bloodline, which combines ice and fire together. This leaves only Jon, his father Rhaegar, or the future child of Jon and Daenerys as potential candidates. Sorry Jaime!
2. "Chaos is a ladder."
Game of Thrones YouTube channel "Talking Thrones" presented us with this crazy theory last month, emailed in by a viewer. The theory states that Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish not only faked his own death but has been disguising himself as various different characters throughout the course of the series.
According to this theory, Littlefinger died over a decade before the events of the first episode of Game of Thrones in a dual with Brandon Stark (Ned Stark's older brother). Brandon was betrothed to Catelyn Tully, who Littlefinger was famously infatuated with, and although the dual did happen in canon, both parties survived. The next time Cat sees Littlefinger is in King's Landing 15 years later, and the "Chaos is a ladder" theory suggests that this is not the original Littlefinger after all, but a faceless man. He then supposedly goes on to become Arya's dancing master Syrio Forel and Jaqen H'ghar, amongst others.
Why it's incorrect: Mainly because of the chronological impossibilities. Whilst it's true Littlefinger and Jaqen H'ghar have never been in the same place at the same time, the timeline of season two would not make sense if Littlefinger was darting between Harrenhal and King's Landing daily. Also, I'm convinced Arya is going to use Littlefinger's face to do some faceless man stuff next season, and that wouldn't work if he was already a faceless man himself.
3. Dragonglass is made of... poo?
With all the shit on the internet these days, I was hoping I would make it to the end of this article without referencing a bowel movement, but I couldn't ignore this disgusting theory. It suggests that dragonglass, the weapon used to kill dragons throughout the series, is actually made of fossilized dragon excrement. The evidence? In the books, Dany's dragons tunnel through the Great Pyramid of Meereen, and it is later revealed that there are similar tunnels on Dragonstone full of dragonglass. Somebody put two and two together, and this theory was created.
Why it's incorrect: You know what, I actually think this one is the most likely of the bunch to actually be true. However, with regards to the TV show alone, I think it's definitely incorrect. If Daniel Benioff and DB Weiss can leave out characters as big as Lady Stoneheart, I think they'll spare us a lecture on the ins and outs of dragon digestive systems.
4. Westeros is a medieval theme park in 'Westworld.'
I love Westworld, I think it's a fantastic show, and I also love Easter eggs. What I don't love, is when crossovers go too far, like the proponent of this theory is suggesting.
The theory proposes that the kingdom of Westeros is just another theme park owned by the Delos corporation, inhabited by robots or "hosts" just like Westworld and Shogunworld. The original Westworld film featured a medieval world, and—dragons aside, as this ties in with Game of Thrones time period—it would kind of make sense, and be a way of tying HBO's two masterpieces together.
Why it's incorrect: I'm pretty sure George R. R. Martin would be absolutely livid if HBO insisted that the vast, complex world he has created and nurtured for over 20 years was just an amusement park. There's also the fact that a major part of this theory's "evidence" rests on the fact that, and I kid you not, "Westworld sounds like Westeros."
5. Tyrion Lannister is a time-traveling baby.
Now this one is straight up insane. We've all heard of R+L=J, which was revealed to be true back in season six, but that's not the only parentage theory out there. There's also A+J=T, which hypothesizes that Tyrion Lannister is the illegitimate son of Mad King Aerys, but the maddest theory of all is that he is actually the unborn child of Daenerys and Khal Drogo, and his fetus magically traveled back in time to his own mother's womb before being born...
This theory, known as D+D=T, is heavily based on parallels between Tyrion and Oedipus, such as both being disowned by their fathers from birth before killing them. You can read the whole conspiracy here.
Why it's incorrect: Does this really need an explanation? Come on. There is no way in the Seven Hells that this could ever happen!
Whatever happens, you can guarantee that the finale of this epic show at the very least won't be boring. We all know that the night is dark and full of terrors. But dragon poo, robot-infested theme park, time-traveling baby dwarf levels of terror? That's probably too far, even for Game of Thrones.